Today were looking at when you are completely overwhelmed and super
stressed out what can you do in that very moment to turn things around? We’re
going to look at some stress tips that help fast and actually work. I learned these
techniques from an expert in this field who just happens to be my best friend Ann
DuPre Rogers, LCSW. Ann DuPre is the Director at Resources for Resilience in
Asheville, North Carolina. Her organization teaches people all over the world,
how to build resistance, reset their nervous systems and understand what’s going
on when they’re stressed out and how to cope. Dont’ miss this episode! It’s the
easiest ways to reset, calm, and move on when you’re super stressed out.
In this episode we will:
~ learn the difference between preventing stress and acute stress coping skills.
~ learn three simple techniques to reset your nervous system when you’re
overwhelmed
~ understand where to get more resources like these
Meditation Music by Sonic Yogi
Deep Sleep With Singing Bowls
Pythagorean Dream
Listen to Sonic Yogi on:
Spotify
Apple Music
Amazon Music
Watch Sonic Yogi’s Ted Talk
Interesting Mentions:
Push on a wall technique
davidji’s 16 Seconds to Bliss
13 Stories:
Ann DuPre Rogers: Resources for Resilience
Heartwood Retreat Center : location for Cheri’s Georgia Mountain Retreats
Jekyll Island : Location for Cheri’s seaside retreat
The Host for this podcast: Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW The Stress
Therapist and Author
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A word from your host, Cheri Flake, LCSW: Feeling good after our Stress
Therapy session? Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, The
Stress Therapist on social media or go to www.iLoveTherapy.com to find out
about meditation classes & meditation and yoga retreats.
[00:00] Hey, beautiful people. What’s up? Okay, so we have been going over some of my most common questions that people ask me about stress, about meditation, all of it about sharapy, if you will. This is Sherri Flake, and I’m the stress therapist. And we’re going to be going over, what do you do in a pinch when you’re super overwhelmed, super stressed out in the moment? What’s your go to technique? That’s what we’re going to talk about today. So relax and settle in and listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now. Hey, beautiful people. It’s time for some stress therapy. A podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living in the real world. Finally, a place to park my 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now your host, me, the stress therapist, Sherry Flake. Hey, beautiful people, what’s up? Okay, so today we’re going to talk about what do you do when you’re super overwhelmed in the moment when it’s right now that you’re overwhelmed. I mean, we spend a lot of time talking about prevention because I’m a huge fan of meditation, are always talking about meditation. On this podcast, we meditate together. We talk about how to make it habitual. And that works as a great prevention tool for stress, to calm our nervous systems, to be healthier, happier. All the things become calmer. I mean, there’s all the juicy benefits. We go over them all the time, but that is more the preventative way. Sometimes clients will say to me, oh, my gosh, I was so mad at my husband, or I was going to flipped my lid over my kid. And so I went in to go meditate, and, you know, I couldn’t do it. And I’m like, well, no ****. I mean, that’s gonna be really hard, right? If you’re all riled up, like, just sit and be calm and think about your breath or whatever. I mean, that’s when our thoughts are most racy, is when we’re all riled up. So what can we do in those moments when we’re not using prevention? And now prevention’s important. Meditation habit. That’s great. Other habits, making anything habitual helps with stress. That’s how I kind of got on the meditation train. I was learning that my clients that made the things that they loved the most in their lives, the thing that they wanted the most in their life, when they made those things habitual, they were happier and less stressed. But again, that is prevention. So what do we do when it’s more acute? When it’s in the moment, when you’re super overwhelmed, when you’re freaking out in the moment, what can you do? Well, it just so happens that my bestie and dupree Rogers, who I went to grad school with, we’ve been friends for, oh, my goodness, 100 years. I don’t know, I guess maybe 25 years. A long, long time. And she runs resources for Resilience, which is a nonprofit organization in Asheville, North Carolina, where she teaches all walks of life. Teachers, police officers, kids, people who are surviving trauma, everybody. How to reset their nervous systems, how to cope with stress, how to build resilience. And that’s really what we want, right? We want to be able to handle **** when it comes our way, man. We need to be able to just handle it. And that’s why, you know, you’ll hear me say all the time, you know, the only way out is through or whatever. But, yeah, we kind of have to go through things in order to know how to deal with them. But what about when it’s just too late? Like, we’re in the moment and we’re just, oh, my gosh, we’re super stressed out. What can we do? Well, she has amazing resources on her website, which is in the show notes. It’s resourcesforresilience.com, and it’s mostly geared towards teachers there in her little videos. But it works for everybody. And if you are a teacher or if you’re a person who gets stressed out, I really recommend going to her website. Cause she has these cute little videos on how to do it. And she’s got her beautiful little southern accent explaining these little tips and tricks on what to do. So I’m gonna give you some of these tips that have really worked for my clients. They’ve worked for myself, they worked for my kids, and they work in the moment. They work. Right? Then you’re feeling overwhelmed. You feel, like panic coming on or anxiety, worry. You’re getting riled up. Maybe you’re getting mad. You’re about to flip your lid. Remember when we talked about the handy brain model and making sure that part of your brain, what happens is it gets triggered when it starts to go into fight or flight, and that is very uncomfortable. And all of a sudden, your brain starts acting like there’s a lion in the room just because you’re mad at your boss. Okay. So what I love about these tips is that they are super simple. They work really fast, and they actually work, right? But here’s the thing again, I say this all the time about meditation. Meditation has beautiful, juicy benefits, but the only way that meditation works is if you meditate is if you actually do it. Okay? So that’s the same with these tips. They are so simple, it doesn’t need to be a math problem in order to work. And I think as we get older, everything’s been done. Especially we see these in the movies, right? It’s so elaborate now to get us riled up or scared or excited or emotional. It’s just over the top, right? It’s not like that with music. It’s not like that with our nervous systems. It’s really, really simple. The Beatles had four tracks, man. Their songs are easy to play, and they are good. So it doesn’t need to be hard in order to work. And I think when we talk about these really simple ways to get yourself back on track, people expect them to be like nine steps. I mean, I’ve heard people like, some of my clients will come in and they’re like, well, first I do this, and then I reel myself into the moment, and then I try to meditate, and then I count to ten, and then I do, and they got all these things. That’s too many things. That’s too many things to remember. It’s too many things to do. I mean, come on. These things are so simple that you seriously, you might move away from them, and just because they’re so simple, but they work great. What I want you to do is try them. Then tell me that it didn’t work. Because the number one thing that I usually do with my clients, and I do this with them in my office. So when they’re feeling overwhelmed or I’m trying to teach them this technique, we walk over to the wall and we just push on it as hard as we can. And I tell them, see if you could push this into the next office, next door, and do my husband’s law firm, which is next door, see if you can push this wall into flake law firm. Can you? Can you push it in there? And what that does, it brings your brain out of fight or flight or freeze response, and it brings your awareness into your body, into your arms, specifically into the strengthen of your body, pushing into the wall, and it can completely reset you. It’s amazing how quickly it works. All of a sudden, you’re focused on sensations, and you’re getting that activation out of that part of your brain where your amygdala is, where you can get riled up, and it works really, really quick. Another thing that you can try, and Annaprie so eloquently explains this on her website, is taking a sip of water. So you can do it with someone, you can do it by yourself, but what you want to do is actively bring your awareness into what it feels like to sip water. What is the water like? Is it flavored? Is it neutral? Is it cold? Is it warm? Is it hot? Was it sitting in your car all day? Does it. What does it feel like for your throat to move and swallow water? How does it feel to get it into your mouth and then into your throat? Can you feel it going down your esophagus, into your stomach? You just simply take a sip of water? I know. It’s so simple, isn’t it? It’s so simple. It’s so simple. And the nice thing about sipping the water technique I like the most is that no one needs to know that you’re resetting your nervous system in that moment. It’s private. You’re totally just taking a sip of water. Whereas maybe pushing against a wall can look a little weird if you’re getting riled up around other people. Right? So sipping water, just take a sip. Always bring your water bottle with you. Take a sip, feel what it feels like to take a sip of water. Bring yourself into that moment. Close your eyes and feel the sensations of just taking a sip. And then the last one that I want to mention, that is, of course, my very favorite one, is hum or sing. Yes, hum or sing. Now, you might know that for a while, a long way back. I mean, I think our last gig was 2009, but for a good long time. For. For 13 years, I traveled and performed and recorded with Atlanta pop band 13 stories. You can look us up on Spotify and dance around to beep beep or look at the video of me crawling around a Ford Mustang or whatever. But for a long time, I was traveling with this band, and I gotta tell you, we were rehearsing constantly. And I’m a person who needs a lot of rehearsal, okay? Like, there are people out there who just have this natural talent of being a musician. And I’m not one of those people. I am one of the people who really, really need to work at it and rehearse a lot in order to be kind of good. And mostly, I spent most of my rehearsal time working on convincing people that I was good rather than actually becoming good. But that aside, it took a lot of rehearsing for me and for me to write a song. You know, the one that I’m most proud of is my Christmas song, if you want to look at that. But for me to write a song, it took some laser. Laser focus and lots of rehearsal. And I’m telling you, at this time, I wasn’t the biggest meditator. I kind of was dabbling in it still. I wasn’t doing it very long, and I wasn’t doing it very often. And I think my saving grace of, you know, stress related problems or health problems or just being overwhelmed and stressed out was singing a lot. And here’s what happens. When we sing. We open up our airways. You know, we’re. We’re taking deep breaths. You know, we have to be in the moment if we’re thinking about lyrics. But, you know, it kind of opens up our ability to come into the body, namely our lungs, our throats, our mouths. Our brain is thinking about what we’re singing. The notes, the tune, the lyrics. And it’s a super stress reliever. The next time you’re stressed out, start humming a little bit or sing a song with someone or turn on your favorite song and notice the changes. It’s quite remarkable. Okay. I can’t say enough about Ann Dupree’s business. It’s a super success. She’s an amazing person. She’s super smart. She’s one of the smartest people I know. You can check out her website resources for resilience. This is when you’re in a pinch. What do you do when you’re super overwhelmed? Try these three things. Push on the wall, take a sip of water, humm, or sing a tune. And now we’re gonna take a quick little break, and then we’re gonna come back, and we’re gonna do the quickest, most wonderful meditation. I learned it from David G. When I was in his meditation academy, learning to be a meditation teacher. It’s called 16 seconds to bliss. So we’re gonna take a break, and then we’re gonna come back, and we’re gonna do a meditation that you can actually do when you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed in the moment, and it actually works, and it will reset your nervous system. You got this. I’ll be right back. Okay, so let’s say that you’re not knee deep in the thick of it. You’re not as overwhelmed as you could possibly be. You’re not searching for the wall or the water bottle or the song to hum. You’re a little bit before that. Maybe you can feel it coming on, or you’re still calm, but you can see where you might spiral, or you’re coming down from having felt anxious, or your nervous system is coming down from having been riled up. This can be a good meditation for you if you’re calm enough to be able to focus on your breath. So that would mean your breath can’t be hyperventilating or too much arousal in your nervous system already. This can be really helpful when you’re just on the edge of feeling anxious or worried or super sad or concerned or nervous or even embarrassed or out of sorts in any way. So here’s how it goes. I learned it from David G. When I was his meditation teacher student at his academy. And it’s called 16 seconds to bliss. And this is how it goes. Release all the breath out of your lungs and begin breathing in your nose. 12334 hold it 1234 let it out of your mouth 1234 hold it out 1234 and then allow your breath to just do whatever it does. Notice the sensations in your body, how you might feel different from when we started. Let’s do it again. Allow your breath to completely empty. And then breathe in your nose 1234 hold it 1234 out of your mouth 1234 hold it out 1234 and then breathe normal, natural breath. Just feeling how breath feels in your belly, in your heart center, in your throat, in your mouth and your nose. Noticing that breath, just noticing how different you feel, if at all, from when we started. Usually it’s quite different. And there you have it. I mean, everybody has 16 seconds for self care, right? All right, when you’re ready, you can open your beautiful eyes. Okay. I hope that was helpful for you. The next time you find yourself super overwhelmed, you can try some of these methods. You can go to resourcesforresilience.org and a look up some other tips and tricks that they have there. I mean, there’s tons of resources there. I mean, they are the resources for resilience, right? And try 16 seconds to bliss anytime, any time before you have to have a hard conversation, before you need to give a presentation at work, before you start your day, anything, anytime. Just see how it works for you because it only takes 16 seconds. And remember, all of these really simple, simple things work, even though they’re simple, but only if you do them. Okay? Yes. Good lessons, right? Okay. So let me know if you have any questions for me. I’m happy to answer them. You can send me an email@sheristherapist.com. dot remember, my name is spelled with a c. It wasn’t my idea. It’s Cheri. Stresstherapist.com dot or you can go to stress therapy on Twitter or the stress therapist on Instagram. I’m also on Facebook too, but I don’t remember. Just look for the stress therapist. That’s me. Ask me a question anytime and I’m happy to answer it. Take care, much love and have a lovely, lovely day. How y’all feeling after that stress therapy session? Good. Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, the stress therapist on social media, hestress therapist on Instagram and stresstherapy on Twitter. You can always go to ilovetherapy.com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there. If you live in Georgia and you’re ready to be one of my clients, go to my website to find out how you can sign up for a free face to face consultation with me. At the very least, jump on my mailer so you don’t stress or miss one thing. Until next time, have a lovely, lovely day.
