When I opened my private practice ten years ago, I noticed that my clients were a lot like me. They wanted to change, they knew specifically what they wanted to change but they just didn’t know where to start. I became obsessed with motivation and how it works. I was intrigued by the brain science behind it all. How can we make change habitual? If we want it so bad, why is it so hard? Can it be easy? Can anyone learn how to change for good? Can it be fun??
The answer? Yes. Change itself can become habitual and fun! Who knew??
One of the ways that life gets way easier and change becomes far more attainable is when you can accept that what is “normal” for me, may not be normal for someone else. And, not only is this ok, it’s perfect. You are YOU, after all. This shift honors who you truly are and who you can become, rather than trying to fit in, emulate someone else or follow what someone else has deemed as the right path for you. Then you can begin to assess your “symptoms” and see if they can in fact, be assets on your own personal journey.
Once I took this new approach, I was so much more helpful to my clients and in turn, I was able to experience growth, awareness and progress in my own life.
The focus became getting whatever they wanted to do and whoever they wanted to be into their life with regularity. When my clients begin to change successfully, things started to make some sense.
It seems that getting motivated comes relatively easy for most of us…but it’s staying motivated that is so difficult.
When we get inspired, we think we are motivated rather than just inspired. However, inspiration can come from just about anything…a documentary, an excited friend, a budding flower…Unless there is some movement, however, some action of some sort, it quickly fizzles out. Therefore, staying motivated was based on a key insight, one that a part of me knew all along: Motivation always comes after action. This realization opened up a world of opportunity. I began to help my clients stay motivated, keep it up and be focused.
Motivation, like any powerful force, needs the right kind of management and I had none. While I kept on busy, stressed and disorganized, my family and friends regularly expressed their worry and concern that stress would take its toll. I just didn’t get it. I kept on and on. I had a horrible time letting colleagues and business partners help me. I was sick so much more often, but still I didn’t see the truth. I just thought I was a bit sickly at times, that’s all. I still had no idea it was because I didn’t know how to manage stress. And I was a therapist!
I finally came down with a life threatening illness that was 100% attributable to stress. I was doing everything I ever wanted, but I was just beating my body up over it. I was forced to consider stress reduction practice as a part of my life – or it was sure to be short-lived.
Options available to me to alleviate stress were unimaginable to me. I couldn’t imagine myself as one of those people. All I could think was…breathing exercises, calmness, yoga, meditation…um, have you met me? I’m on the go, working it out, and on top of the world! That other stuff is not me. I didn’t realize that these practices would end up being the gift of a lifetime.
I was about to be so much more; but without having to do more. Strangely, it was by doing less!
The simple solution on how to get the most out of motivation, stay focused and be productive was habits.
I began to teach my clients all about what I was learning about motivation and habit formation. You can hold onto motivation, and then carry it with you wherever you go and in whatever you want to accomplish, simply by honoring how your brain works and successfully creating new, healthy habits. I was doing it myself…but it took a real eye opener to realize that I was going to have to create even more new habits…habits to keep me healthy and ultimately, alive.
Healthy habits, and the research behind them, were my savior. I learned to perpetuate what I wanted in my life with the development of healthy habits. We don’t have to focus so much on our habitual behaviors. They just come… they just are…if you can actively create them on your own, you’re not stressed out about what you wish you were doing or how to stay motivated anymore.
Think about it. You don’t stress over or ruminate about your habits. Your normal behaviors are just are a part of who you are, something that you do without ever thinking about it…and thus, the runner just runs and the healthy eater just eats…no worries, no stress, just going about your normal day. What wonderful news for me and you! Stress reduction can be habit forming!
Many of us know exactly what we need to do to make ourselves healthier or happier. The problem is that we simply can’t find the motivation, time or the stamina to keep it up.
I hear it all the time: “I want to exercise more,” “I want to eat right,” “I want to write a book,” “I want a new job,” “I want to try yoga.” The list is endless. Some of us have no idea but for some reason, we just feel unfulfilled. Making things worse, because we assume implementing change or newness in our lives will cause us too much stress or will just be too hard, we give up the whole idea of change.
Yes, change can be stressful, but it can be wonderful. I can show you the simple, life changing-difference.
I think the combination of sustaining motivation, stress reduction work and creating healthy habits is the magical formula to making your dreams come true, no matter what they are. You can work on all of your goals, big or small, without sacrificing your health and well-being. It’s a matter of learning the process of habit development while nurturing your true self.
There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect just the way you are…it’s just time to see who that is exactly, who you can be, what you want to do, and where your potential lies. I want to help you uncover it.
When you are working on exactly what you want to achieve, life is so much easier and pleasurable. You are an amazing power when you are living at the level of your utmost performance…healthy, productive, and bringing your dreams to life. You deserve this! It’s so much more fun to “work,” to play, and to live, without having life take a toll on your body.
I can show you how. I’ve been there…
Now, let’s pick up some new habits! Believe me, it’s time.
Much Love and Light to You,