Think Like the You You’re Becoming

In this heartfelt and zesty episode, cheri Flake dives into one of the most transformative (and tricky!) mindset shifts of all: thinking like the version of you that you want to become. With wit, warmth, and wisdom from decades of therapy work, she unpacks why we’re not our thoughts—and how to separate from them using meditation, mindfulness, and sneaky brain hacks. This episode includes a powerful guided mantra meditation using Ham Sa (“I am that”), and even features an original song, “Joy,” by her band 13 Stories, written 18 years ago with this very message in mind. ✨ 🌟 Key Learning Points:

• You are not your thoughts—you’re the one noticing them. Meditation helps you see that thoughts are just options, not truths.
• Convince your toddler brain. Use affirmations with emotion and storytelling to make your beliefs feel real and sticky.
• Flip the ‘what ifs’ to serve you. Instead of catastrophizing, play out best-case scenarios with emotional clarity.

📣 Mentions & Shout-Outs:

• 💻 Byron Katie’s “The Work” — Mind-shifting reframing tools.
• 📖 Bhagavad Gita translated by Stephen Mitchell — A poetic and soulful sacred text.
• 🎶 “Joy” by 13 Stories — Sheri’s song featured by Wayne Dyer on Hay House Radio.
• 🎤 Wayne Dyer’s Inspiration Show on Hay House — For the spiritual spark plug vibe.
• 🧠 Tip: Label your thoughts (“future,” “worry,” “planning”) to make them easier to release.
• 🦋 Butterfly “what-ifs” — A sweet metaphor for gently redirecting anxious or repetitive thoughts.
• 📧 Sheri wants to hear from you! Email her how you’re taking control of your thoughts.

🎧 Guided Meditation Included:
Yes! A beautiful mantra-based meditation using Ham Sa (“I am that”) to help you gently return to center and reclaim your narrative. 💫 Final Thought:
You’re allowed to change your thoughts. And when you do, your whole life shifts with them. Produced and edited by Owen Flake | Audio production, editing, and creative direction 🎛️🎚️🎧

 

 

Hey, beautiful people. So we know that if we change our thoughts that we feel better. We know that if we change our thoughts, everything changes. Right? As soon as we do that.

But it’s so hard.

It’s so hard to change our thoughts. But we can’t just be on default. We can’t just let any thoughts in. I mean, this is the one thing that we actually can control.

And I’m going to show you how to do it today. And I might have some tips today that you’ve never even heard of that have worked great with my clients.

Let’s do this.

Hey, beautiful people. It’s time for some stress therapy. A podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living in the real world.

Finally, a place to Park. My 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now your host,

me, the stress therapist, Sheri Flake.

Hey, beautiful people. What’s up? Okay, so one of the things I love about meditation, you know, I love meditation all the way around, but one of the coolest things about it is that after a while and after you’ve been doing it and everybody reports this, it’s not just me,

I swear,

you start to be able to see that you are not your thoughts. You can see yourself separate from your thoughts. You can see the thought and recognize that not only is it not you or define who you are or truly important or absolutely truth,

but you see that it’s an option,

that it’s an opportunity,

that you don’t have to think that thought or latch onto it or make it a sticky thought that attracts other types of thoughts. Right.

Like our thoughts are a lot like,

you know, when you Google something and then Google finds out that you’re looking for a Schwinn bike, and then you see a Schwinn bike every time you turn around on the Internet, you.

Yeah. And it’s in the color that you wanted, and even sometimes in the color that you thought you wanted. It’s amazing. That’s how our thoughts work. And so you gotta kind of think of them as not yours.

They’re not yours. They’re in the ether.

And you are attracting the ones that are the most similar to the ones that you’re already having.

Speaker B: Ugh.

Speaker A: Okay. And if we’re having 50,000 thoughts a day, we don’t want to have the 30 or 40,000 thoughts or the same from yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that.

Let’s make original Thoughts. Because if you think something enough,

you think it’s true. Whether it’s true or not, if you think it enough, you will think it’s true and important.

My brain thinks wordle is important. Okay? But if you think something enough, you will think it’s true and you will think it’s important.

So this means it’s an opportunity for you to start thinking things that are true and are important.

So you change the way that you see the world and the world changes the way that it sees you. And it sounds super cheesy, but I’m just saying, what if it works?

And I’m also saying it’s magical to watch your thoughts all of a sudden create your reality.

And Byron, Katie’s like, you don’t have to believe that your thoughts create your reality,

but you’re gonna have a hell of a better life if you do. And she does really well at reframing. You can go to her website, thework.com and side note, her husband is Stephen Mitchell, who does a translation of sacred texts,

specifically the Bhagavad Gita. That is,

you can read it in the evening and it’s absolutely breathtaking, beautiful poetry and really drives home that beautiful, beautiful story and all of its meaning in a very.

I mean, it’s just, it. It’s absolutely lovely. I definitely would pick that up. The Bhagavad Gita Translated by Stephen Mitchell Byron Katie’s HUSBAND so you need to be able to separate yourself from your thoughts if you want to change them.

Okay? So that’s why affirmations get a bad rap, because people are like, well, I don’t think that. Why would I say money comes easily naturally in the mirror if I don’t think that?

Yeah, well, you don’t think that because you don’t believe it yet.

Right? When I’m at my band rehearsal, we always say, well, I can’t sing and play that at the same time yet.

You got leave yourself open for growth, baby. Okay? So in order to separate your thoughts when you’re meditating, it’s magical. All of a sudden you’re like focused on this one thing.

You’re anchored. Now we’re getting like to the end. I mean, you’ve been in it to win it now for a while and meditating with me. And so you know that you focus on one thing when you meditate and that your thoughts come and that you just keep coming back to that one thing,

whatever anchor I give you, a mantra, a sound,

a idea,

a breath, whatever it is, whatever anchor you have, right?

And when you just keep showing up for that and keep showing up for that, you get really good at being like, I don’t have to think that thought.

It looks like a choice. And the problem is we’re usually walking around and saying, well, I don’t think like that. That’s not who I am, man. That’s not who I am.

I don’t think that way. I would never think that way. Well, you know what? You’re right. You’re absolutely right. If you’re not gonna change your thoughts, then you ain’t gonna change your thoughts.

But what if you did?

What if you could convince your brain and that’s really the downstairs brain? Remember when we talked about Sherry Flake Brain anatomy? When you look at the downstairs brain, the lower part, the part that’s like a baby, like a toddler,

you have to convince that part of your brain that that is true. So your brain starts looking because it loves to be right, but it starts looking in your environment to be right.

So if you go to a rally for, say, someone that you’re not interested in being the president of the United States,

you would not come around at that rally, okay? To that person’s dogma or ideas. Okay. You would only see validation that you’re right in voting for the other girl. You know what I’m saying?

Okay. If your brain is looking in your environment in order to validate you and bring you things that are like the thoughts that you’re already happening that are like the thoughts that you’re already having and that validate that you are right in all of your beliefs,

wouldn’t it be very, very important to be thinking the things that you want to be true that you wish were true? Yes.

And so what we have to do is we have to spend some time meditating so we can see ourselves separate from our thoughts and. And see when we have control.

Because we have all kinds of control over our thoughts. They’re not even yours. They’re just floating around and you’re picking them out. You gotta be choosy about which ones you pick,

Right.

You are not default. You’re not just receiving email all day long that you don’t want. No. You gotta set up a spam folder, man. You gotta be like, I’m not thinking that thought, that thought.

I can think this thought or this thought. Which one makes me feel better? Which one has the goals that I want in it? Which one makes my day better? Which one helps me fall back asleep, whatever it is,

right? You have to separate yourself from it and then you’re able to flip it. Now, when you do have an affirmation, let’s just go over good old fashioned affirmations for a second.

If you are working on affirmations, you have to believe it.

You have to convince that part of your brain that you believe it. Right? That toddler brain. Right. So you can’t just be saying, money comes easily, naturally. Me, I always have enough money.

Speaker B: No, no, no, it’s.

Speaker A: Check this out. Every time I go to Vegas, I win. Every single time my friends give me twenties, I come back with honeys and hand them all out. Because I always make money in Vegas.

People talk about losing money. I brought this money to lose.

Speaker C: What?

Speaker A: No way. I brought this money to triple it, to quadruple it. Okay? Because every time I go to the washer or dryer, there’s money in there. I find money all the time.

There’s always money in my pockets. And every time I go to the bank statement, there’s more money in there than I thought would be. And I just always have more than enough money.

And it’s not a pie, man. I’m not taking money from other people. I just always have so much money. It’s always around me, everywhere I go, it’s more and more money.

And money just comes easily and naturally, and I always have it. I mean, isn’t that a little more convincing than I’m filled with abundance?

I mean, what,

my brain doesn’t even hear that because it doesn’t speak English. It speaks emotion.

You have to have the clear intention with the heightened emotions. Here’s a cool tip. There’s good old fashioned reframing, right? I have some clients with panic attacks. And one of the terrible symptoms of panic disorder is the anticipatory anxiety that it’s going to happen again.

It’s terrible.

And so often that is what we’re treating, right?

And my client will tell me that they’re terrified that they’re going to have one again because they were driving or whatever the scenario was. And I’ll say to them, you know,

99.9% of the time you’re not having a panic attack. So you’re kind of an expert at not having a panic attack.

I’m telling you, they don’t usually think about that this way.

You know, if you get diagnosed with something and 97% of the people have this,

what are the 3% of the people doing? Okay, if 97% is despair and it’s awful and it’s horrible,

what,

why aren’t we Talking about the 3% of the people I want to be that person. Another thing that you can do, I call the what ifs. And I think of them like little butterflies.

Like, if I make a bad decision, what if this happens? If I hire the wrong person, what if that happens? If I, I don’t know, bought the wrong thing or went down the wrong road or whatever it is.

Like, what if, what if, what if? And it feels like butterflies because they’re just sort of fluttering all around and fluttering all around. And usually we stop our stories right in the middle there.

Like, what if this happens?

Okay? And much like people who have not been treat. Treated for a traumatic experience,

they will often end their story at the traumatic part, right? So I was walking down the street and someone came up to me and, you know, they grabbed my purse and it was absolutely terrifying,

right? People who have healed from trauma,

end of the story,

you know, and then someone came by and, you know, and it was okay. And they caught the guy or what, whatever. Like, they’ll tell the rest of the story, right?

And so you could do this with your little butterflies buzzing around. You could say, like, okay, what if that happens? Because we’re very good at catastrophizing and going to how the worst case scenario would be terrible, okay?

And proving to ourselves that it would be.

But what if we actually spent some time entertaining the idea and thinking about and having emotions about the most likely scenario or the best scenario? What I mean,

it could happen, right?

And so sometimes when we do that, that also helps shift. And the butterfly idea helps me really, if I ever have those thoughts at night. Because what you don’t want to do is have really anxious thoughts at night.

Gotta figure out how to stop them so you can fall back asleep. Because if you start making worry cocktail,

you know,

hormones and all of these neurotransmitters going off at once, one of them is going to be cortisol, and it usually lasts about an hour and a half. So you don’t want that one to start pumping through your veins because then you’re up too long, right?

But the butterfly one can be nice because you’re also practicing separating from it. What if this happened? Here’s another thought I could have. Okay? So it’s very. It’s not loaded.

It’s not. You need to do this and you have to do that, but it’s just another idea on how to get your thoughts to shift a little bit, okay? And you’re moving towards something.

It doesn’t happen overnight, right? But the reason why affirmations are so popular is because if you use them the right way, they actually work.

Speaker B: Right?

Speaker A: They actually work. And affirmations,

you know, in a loose term, in a loose definition, could be like the butterfly. Most likely are better or best scenario ideas. You’re still thinking those thoughts and changing your mood and attitude around them and eventually your personality and your life.

I’m telling you, this works. But much like anything on this earth,

the only way that any of it works is if you do it. Okay, so let’s meditate together right now.

Speaker B: Okay? So find a comfortable seat and relax your beautiful body.

Roll your shoulders back. Maybe put your hands down on your knees or facing up.

Today we’re going to be using the mantra Ham sa H A M S a H ham sa.

And this sacred, beautiful mantra just means,

I am that with a capital T.

I am not my thoughts,

I am that. I am connected to the divine holy source and entity that surrounds all sentient beings.

I am that hum sa.

And as you silently say this mantra to yourself over and over, just for a few minutes, I’m gonna leave you.

When you have a thought that comes into your awareness and pulls you away from the mantra,

just simply keep coming back.

Keep coming back.

Hum saw,

hum sa.

That is the practice.

Sometimes it helps to label a thought.

Planning thought,

future thought, past thought,

worry thought.

Sometimes that can help for the thought to dissipate and you can get back to the mantra.

Speaker A: And I’ll be back to guide you out.

Speaker C: It’s Sam.

Speaker B: Release this beautiful sacred mantra into the ethereum.

Speaker A: Before jumping up to go. Have the next thought or do the next thing.

Speaker B: Take a moment here,

luxuriating in this calm that you have created.

Take a long,

slow, deep breath in your nose,

letting it all go out of your mouth.

Again,

a long, slow, deep breath in your nose,

letting it all go out of your mouth.

One last breath in your nose,

out of your mouth.

And when you’re ready,

you can open your beautiful eyes.

Speaker A: Hamsa, thank you so much for meditating with me today.

Speaker B: I would love to hear how you’re taking control of your thoughts, how you’re just noticing them.

Speaker A: I mean, that’s the biggest step of all. All you gotta do is just notice them. Like,

oh, I’m having a thought that’s making me feel better. Why am I feeling bad? What thought am I thinking? You know, work it backwards if you.

Speaker B: Must, but start thinking about what you’re thinking about, tweaking those thoughts with little.

Speaker A: Tips and tricks and however you need to do it to Trick your brain into just having different thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and days and lives. I’m telling you, it works. And one thing that this reminds me of is just how many blanket thoughts we have, right?

Like, I’ll be like, oh, this is the worst day. I mean, the whole day you’re just having a bad moment,

not a bad life.

In fact, one of my friends gave me a little plaque that says that I have it by my makeup mirror. It says something like,

it’s not a bad life. It’s a bad moment or something. It’s put much more eloquently than I’m putting here. But the idea is just let your bad moments be moments,

right? You don’t have to attach em to the day or the week or the month or the year or the life, okay?

Like, keep it in perspective.

Use your reasoning and logic to choose what thoughts you want. And then next thing you know,

your thoughts are getting sticky and they’re attracting thoughts that are really positive and really happy and just better and just.

You’re gonna love this. So let me know how it goes for you. So I got done recording this episode and I was thinking about it, and I was thinking, you know, about 18 and maybe 19 years ago, I wrote a song with my band 13 stories about exactly this episode.

I mean, the whole intention of the song was to convey exactly what we just talked about in this episode. Isn’t that cool? Even Wayne Dyer used it on Hay House radio for his show inspiration.

And I’m going to leave it with you here now because I think it’s really relevant still. The song is called Joy and it’s my gift to you. And it’s by 13 stories.

Speaker D: I take my joy straight up every day.

This is simply what I want.

I’m not doing what I’m doing.

Change the way you look at things and it all falls in place.

Dig to graves of forgiveness I choose pace instead of end.

Speaker A: You go on about nothing while you’re.

Speaker D: Missing what there is. It’s no Sobrigadian. Yes, so bravery. I take my joy straight up every day.

Speaker E: Milkshake,

chocolate covered pie Dig my own religion.

Live like a magician Take my mind from no raising to what I find prosy it’s none of my business what you think so I take my joy.

Speaker D: Straight up every day.

I take my joy straight up every day I want down a different street.

Do not go right back to sleep.

I’m your violating since I’ve learned I can’t make grass grow.

I know like I know like I know like I know I take my joy straight up every day neutral chocolate.

Speaker E: Covered heartache dig my own religion live like a magician take my mind from no to what I find from it’s none of my business what you think so I take my journey straight up.

Speaker D: Every day I take take my joy straight up every day don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die.

Speaker E: Don’T die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die.

Speaker D: Don’T die with music still in you inside my mind got it is blue.

Speaker E: When I’m 500 years old I’ll still.

Speaker D: Be faking you hoping to everything attached to nothing I take my joy straight up every day.

Speaker E: Take my own.

Speaker C: For.

Speaker E: Magician take my heart from it’s none of my faces.

Speaker D: I take my choice straight up every day Take my joy straight up every day I take my joy straight up every day.