Awkward Situation? How To Feel Confident, Lighten It Up & Move On
Are you about to be in an awkward situation? SAME! Ugh. So awkward, right? Learn what my advice is to quickly turn an awkward situation into a comfortable one and how it works. The way out of dealing with that elephant in the room will definitely surprise you!
In this episode we will learn:
~How to turn any awkward situation into a comfortable one
~Why avoiding it never works
~The magic word to help out in any awkward situation
~Om Shanti – Peace Meditation
The Host for this podcast: Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW The Stress Therapist and Author
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Quotes:
“Acknowling the awkwardness in an awkward situation is the way out.” -Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW
“Live each moment completely and the future will take care of itself. Fully enjoy the wonder and beauty of each moment.” -Paramahansa Yoganada
Interesting Mentions:
Paranmahansa Yogananda
Heartwood Retreat Center : location for Cheri’s Georgia Mountain Retreats
Awaken Your Inner Awesomeness: Melissa Oatman
Website: https://www.melissaoatman.com
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TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00] Hey, beautiful people. What’s up? So a lot of what I do in my private psychotherapy practice is work with people on how to have hard conversations and going over and practicing really good communication skills. It makes your life way better. So over the next few weeks, that is what we’re going to be doing. And today, we’re gonna start with OOH, that awkward situation, that one that you know you’re walking into. It’s gonna happen to me this weekend. I’m gonna tell you exactly how I’m going to deal with it and how you can too. It’s season six tips and tricks that this psychotherapist wants you to know. So relax and settle in and listen up, because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now. Hey, beautiful people. It’s time for some stress Therapy, a podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living in the real world. Finally, a place to park my 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now, your host, me, the stress therapist, Sherry Flake. Okay, before we get into the thick of it, we’re gonna take a teensy tiny break. Be right back. Hey, beautiful people. Okay, so when we’re feeling awkward, it’s because our little ego or our big ego actually doesn’t know how to be, like whatever our ego normally does. Whoever we claim to be, or think of ourselves as, like, an extroverted person or someone who would be comfortable saying how they feel about a certain situation, or someone who wouldn’t feel that comfortable doing this or that or whatever it is, whatever personality that you have created out of your personal reality. Because that’s where personalities come from. That is your ego identity. And when we don’t know how to be or we’re sort of out of our normal element of how we would handle a certain situation, it feels awkward. It feels weird. And so we’re kind of out of our comfort zone. And one of the best ways to deal with an awkward situation, and this might shock you a little bit, is to mention it. Okay, so now I’m just talking about awkwardness. I’m talking about running into an ex. I’m talking about maybe the last time you saw someone, they were in a compromising position. Maybe they were drunk or something or out of sorts in some way, or maybe they know that you know something about them or maybe you’re tight with their ex or something like that. Okay? I’m talking about, like, just being awkward, not where you have an agenda or where something has gone down with the two of you. Okay? So we’re going to cover that next week on what to do in those situations. This is just feeling like this is awkward. Okay? So we all kind of know what that is. Nothing bigger than that just being awkward. Here’s the best way to get around it. I’m about to see myself in an awkward situation this weekend. The last time I saw this person, he was not in a good way. And I know that I’m going to have to spend a significant time with him this weekend, and it would be easier. Okay, it would be easier, but awkward, right? Remember, easy doesn’t necessarily mean comfortable. Right? So it would be easier for me to just go in and pretend like that never happened, okay? But both of us will probably feel awkward if that’s the route that I go. And in general, in an awkward situation like that, when you haven’t had some altercation with that person, when there’s no beef, there’s no agenda, there’s no leftover residual anger, resentment or whatever, okay? It’s just awkwardness. The best thing to do is to acknowledge the lightness of the situation and actually mention it. What? Yes. And it seems like that would make it more awkward, but I’m telling you, it’s beautiful, okay? When I see this person, I’m going to be like, hey, man, what’s up? I’m going to give him a sympathetic smile, maybe a hug, how’s it going? And then I’m going to be like, if he doesn’t say anything, maybe I’ll shake my head, you know, that back and forth. Kind of nod that’s up and down, but really back and forth too. You know what I’m saying? Can you do that right now? When your chin kind of comes up, kind of smile and just maybe be like, well, this is a little awkward, okay? And you’re not making light of whatever situation they had. Because remember, it’s not a big whoop. We’re only talking about awkwardness. Let’s keep it light, okay? And when we mention that it feels awkward, it dissipates so much faster. And usually both parties can laugh a little bit and then move on to conversations that actually mean something. Now, what you could use instead, if you don’t want to use the word awkward, I get it. It’s a very descriptive word, and it really nails it, right? And so if you don’t feel comfortable using the word awkward, that’s fine. But what you can use and still this requires you to say it out loud, but I’m telling you, just try this, try this. In a low maintenance situation with just someone that you kind of feel awkward around or whatever, or just the littlest thing where there’s no risk, really low, low risk. And just try saying something like, and I love this word. I tell my clients to use it all the time. I feel a little uncomfortable. Can’t lie feel a little uncomfortable because uncomfortable implies so many things, and it’s vague and so you don’t have to own up to some particular feeling. I feel this way, I feel that way, like it’s some big deal. You can just be like, you don’t even have to say that’s how you feel. You can say this is uncomfortable because when you use the word uncomfortable, and there are exceptions to every rule, of course, but often, especially if you’re dealing with a woman, their knee jerk is to move in. Their communication style is often again, there are exceptions to every rule, but their knee jerk reaction is often to move towards you and help you feel comfortable, which is really what we want in an awkward situation anyway. We want to feel comfortable and confident. And so if you say, wow, I’m feeling a little uncomfortable, and you kind of smile, use your sense of humor if it seems appropriate there, and watch how people respond to just that declaration. You don’t have to work it out, you don’t have to come to any resolution. You can just whatever. Usually the other party is going to say something like, yeah, I get it, or they might even say Why? And then you could be like, oh, I don’t know, it’s just awkward having the last time I saw you, I don’t know that happened and I was a little nervous about seeing you, but now that I see you I feel fine, or now that I see you, say whatever the truth is. And honestly saying those things out loud that we often keep inside, a lot of times people think that keeps them vulnerable. But remember, this is with someone you don’t have a beef with. So there’s no real vulnerability risk. Usually when people open up their hearts and share how they feel, people really respond to that and that draws people in and they want to be there to help you feel more comfortable or to make the situation less awkward, even if it’s just acknowledging it. So the lesson is acknowledging the awkwardness in an awkward situation is the way out. It’s the way out. And so I’m going to try that this week and I’ll let you know how it goes. And we’ll be spending a little bit of time with communication skills because they’re so important and I think we spend a lot of time contemplating what people think or how we think they think or what we think. You’re going to have a 0% success rate trying to predict what people are thinking, okay? And even if you get it right, you’re never going to know because people change their thoughts all the time. And so rather than trying to do that and be a mind reader and a fortune teller and all of that, get your communication skills in check. Express yourself. Truthfully, always truthfully. That’s the number one rule. Always tell the truth and kindly, but actually say what it is that’s important, right? So as long as you’re speaking truthfully and kindly, it’s going to go great. And speaking the truth and letting it into that room where the elephant is, is the way out. It’s the way out. It’s the way to salvation and feeling more comfortable. Now, as we progress over the weeks, we’re going to talk about more and more difficult situations to get out of. We’re going to talk about having hard conversations with difficult people. I’m going to be giving you the advice that I give my clients on how to be a better communicator, a happier person in difficult situations, and how to deal with difficult people. Okay?
[09:03] So before we meditate together, I’m going.
[09:05] To play you a couple of messages from our sponsor so you can take a break.
[09:10] Go find your meditative space and position yourself in a meditative posture and prepare your mind to be quiet and find that place so we can meet together.
[09:23] In just a few moments. I’ll be right back.
[09:38] Allowing yourself to sit comfortably in your beautiful meditation space. Hopefully you have a space that you have created for this quiet, quiet time. And yes, showing up is the most important thing, but it is important that we go a little deeper. And that’s why with every meditation, I guide you in and then leave you alone to go deeper, to concentrate fully, to allow your brain to learn how to focus and change physiologically during the time that you’re alone with a mantra or a thought or whatever the anchor is. And today we’re going to be using the mantra Om Shanti. Om Shanti om is the hymn of the universe. It is the word of God or bula or Allah or whatever you call it, that source, that thing we’re all connected to, as if the earth was making a noise, that is the sound of the beautiful song it would sing. Ohm, and shanti simply means peace, which is certainly something that we need when we go into difficult situations or conversations or just difficult times in our lives. Om Shanti, om Shanti begin silently repeating this mantra to yourself. And when you start to think about something else, or later on, or yesterday, simply bring yourself back, om Shanti. Time and time again I’ll leave you now and then I’ll be back to guide you out. Enjoy bid farewell to this lovely, lovely vibration. And before rushing and standing up and being done with your meditation, sit with the calmness that you have created just for a moment. Here, allow yourself to bathe in this tranquility just for a moment. It’s so rare and you created it. You did it. Take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose. Let it all go out of your mouth and take another long, slow, deep breath in your nose, letting it all fall away as you exhale out of your mouth and one last awakening and cleansing breath in your nose and then let it all go out of your mouth. And when you’re ready, whenever that is, you can open your beautiful eyes. All right, well, hopefully you’re feeling a little teensy bit more peaceful and able to take that peacefulness, that truth, that.
[33:43] Kindness that’s already there inside of you. You don’t even have to look for it. You just have to allow it to bubble up in your next awkward situation. I did mention that I’m about to be in one. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m definitely going to follow my own advice, which is sometimes really hard, right? Because often we know just what we’re supposed to do or what we should do. We should on ourselves all the time, and it can be kind of hard. But remember, the only reason it’s hard is because it’s not what you normally do. Our brains and our egos really try to reject anything that’s just not familiar, anything that we just don’t normally do. That’s why we always sort of get hard on ourselves when we make the same mistakes over and over. If you make the same mistakes over and over, one thing to think about is it’s probably because that’s worked for you in the past and now it just doesn’t work anymore. And that’s why it’s a mistake. And another way to look at it is after you do that over and over, you’re making those little grooves like in a record. Remember records in your brain and that’s your brain’s go to your brain’s. Physiology has changed and so it’s going to take a little bit of effort to do something different. But I’m telling you, the payoff is really good here, especially with this little teensy tiny awkward tip. We have a lot coming in 2024. I’m going to be visual. You’re going to see me on YouTube. I’m going to be on the Ethereal Network of Shows TV show, and we’re going to switch it on up where you’re going to be able to see my little stress therapy mug if you choose to watch instead of listen. So that is going to be there. And we have all of our new dates for retreats coming up. I’m hoping to put together an international retreat. I would love to have you in a beautiful, crazy space. And we’re hoping to do a week long retreat in 2024. I haven’t figured out the location just yet. Looking forward to that. We’ll definitely be at the beach and in the mountains once again. So that’s something to look forward to in the coming months after the holidays. And over the holidays, I will definitely, definitely be addressing stress busters for the holiday crunch. So I love you. Have a lovely, lovely day. Before I go, I want to tell you about another Ethereal Network Shows podcast that I think you’re going to love.
[36:08] Hello. My name is Melissa Oatman and I’m the host of Awaken Your Inner Awesomeness. I’m a teacher, healer, intuitive, and single mom of twins. I’m an Empath and are a covering people pleaser. I created Awaken Your Inner Awesomeness to help other people like me learn how to stop living their lives for others so that they could start living their absolute best lives. I cover topics in spirituality and self improvement, like setting healthy boundaries, working with the archangels, and protecting your energy. I end every episode by pulling a card of guidance to help you get a message to start your day off right. I also interview fascinating guests who cover a wide range of self help topics. If this sounds interesting to you, then what are you waiting for? Start listening today.
[37:03] How y’all feeling after that stress therapy session? Good. Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, the stress therapist on social media, at the Stresstherapist on Instagram, and at stresstherapy on Twitter. You can always go to ilovetherapy.com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there. If you live in Georgia and you’re ready to be one of my clients, go to my website to find out how you can sign up for a free face to face consultation with me. At the very least, jump on my mailer so you don’t stress or miss one thing. Until next time, have a lovely, lovely day.
