Less Judgement, More Buddha

[00:00] Hey, beautiful people. What’s up? Okay, so today we’re going to be talking a little bit about all this judgment that we’re having about every single thought we have. It’s making us miserable. How can we channel the buddha a little bit, be in the moment that we’re in, change the thoughts that we’re having about our thoughts and feel a little bit calmer, a little bit happier, just a little bit better. So relax and settle in and listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now. Hey, beautiful people.

[00:43] It’s time for some stress therapy. A podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living.

[00:49] In the real world.

[00:50] Finally, a place to park my 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now your host, me, the stress therapist, sherry flake.

[01:14] Hey, beautiful people. What’s up? Okay, so today I wanted to just touch on a little stress tip, a little meditation tip on, you know, where your thoughts are, what your discernment is, what you’re thinking about, and examining what you think about. And I know I talk about this all the time. And, you know, there’s good old fashioned cognitive behavioral therapy where you can call on, you know, a new thought and reframing a negative thought and noticing your ants, your automatic negative thoughts and replacing them and doing all of those things. And all those things are wonderful and they work great. However. However, it isn’t necessarily based in reality. And people are often saying, well, I like to be real and I like to face reality, but I don’t know, we need to kind of examine what reality is because reality right now in this moment, I mean, is just not even you. Cause you’re not here. It’s just me and a couple of dogs, and that’s it. Maybe a lot of spiders because, I don’t know, a lot getting here because I am in a treehouse. But what is exactly right now and how we have all this judgment around what’s happening? You know, it’s really hot in Atlanta today. That’s a perfect example of a valid. I’m making quote marks complaint. But as we talked about before, you know, complaining makes it worse 100% of the time because you’re bringing that thought into your awareness right now. And what if instead of, you know, bringing something into this moment that’s terrible, right? That’s from a previous thing. Like, I shouldn’t have said that or that was a bad idea, or I made this mistake, or things are going to look in the future like they did in the past, right. Cause every thought about the future is simply based on the past. The future is not real. It’s something that we’ve just made up in our heads based on what’s happened before, right? And so what if you didn’t think so much about what already happened? And what if you didn’t lug everything that you think is gonna happen in the future into this moment? What if you were actually just in the moment that you’re in, you know, without any judgment? Right? Like, every time I talk to my mom, she hates bad, bad weather, which she has decided is, you know, rain. Okay?

[03:31] Now, I don’t know about the trees.

[03:33] They probably disagree. But whenever it’s raining, she’s like, the weather is terrible. It’s terrible. There’s always judgment around it. I’m giving my mom a hard time. She’s a lovely, wonderful, amazing woman, but there is all this judgment around her. And I always say, hey, tell that to the trees, right? Because it’s all in the way that you look at it and what perspective you’re coming from. And that’s why on my retreats, I always have people wear different colored sunglasses because they have to kind of see things from different perspectives, even if they don’t like the color green or whatever. And it’s really kind of a cool little experiment because we’re constantly judging everything. Everything. I mean, we’re even doing it when we’re on social media. It’s. I like this. I don’t like this. This is bad. This is good. This is bad. What if you just looked at your thoughts and just noticed them and just. That’s it? Okay. This is what the Buddha taught to be in the moment that you’re in, to be very present. And that all of our suffering, all of it comes from this judgment, this discerning, this thinking that there’s more that we want. And he also gets into desire and how that makes us suffer because we think that we need more or need something else. And so it’s kind of relaxing to just sit there and, like, be. And you might think it’s boring, but, I mean, let’s visit that for a second. When’s the last time you were bored? I mean, really, our whole lives revolve around these little technology and devices, and so we’re never bored anymore. And it’s really good for your brain to be bored. Whenever my kids are bored, I’m always like, oh, that’s really good for your brain. You know, they’ve had it with me, but I’m just saying, you know, allowing your brain to be idle is really, really good for you. And it kind of ties into what the Buddha said, you know, and the idea that you’re just noticing your thoughts, you’re just seeing them separate from you. You’re a witness to them without judgment. And it’s hard, man. That’s how our whole lives go around. This is good, this is bad, this is neutral. This is good, this bad, neutral. What if it’s just. Is like there’s a thought, it’s not good, it’s not bad, it’s not true, it’s not false, it’s not important, it’s not irrelevant. It just. That’s what it is. I mean, kind of cool, right? And kind of ends up taking a load off your shoulders, whether you think so or not. So today we’re going to do a meditation. It’s Vipassana. It’s very popular in the buddhist community, and I learned it on a meditation retreat, and I’m going to teach it to you right now. So we’ll take a quick break and we’ll come back and we’ll meditate together.

[06:27] Find a comfortable sitting up position. Allow your spine to be straight, shoulders down, chin level to the ground. You can put your hands on your knees, facing down or up. Today we’re going to be doing Vipassana meditation. It is of the buddhist tradition. It is to focus on exactly what is, what’s happening right now. And so we use breath as an anchor. Your point of focus, your concentration, is the breath. So with your eyes comfortably closed and your body settled in, bring all of your attention to the breath. If we are honing what is, if our awareness is on what is, then you don’t need to change the breath. You are a witness to it. You watch it. So a point of focus can be helpful. In the nostrils, in the throat, in the heart, center, in the belly. Find one place to watch your breath. You don’t have to make it any different. You don’t have to judge it if it’s right or wrong. You’re simply watching it. And when your attention falters, and it will, because your brain was created to think, you just simply come back to the breath over and over again, hundreds of times, thousands of times, you just keep coming back to the breath. That is the practice, the coming back to it, coming back home, noticing the in breath, the out breath as it passes through your point of awareness. Stay with it. Now watch the time. I’m going to leave you with your breath. This is all you’re supposed to be doing. This is all the practice is. Remain still, watch the breath, and keep coming back to it. Enjoy your breath. I’ll lead you out in a few minutes.

[10:32] Sadeena. Sadeena.

[15:52] Gently allow yourself to come away from the breath, back into this moment, in this time, in this body. But before jumping up and moving on, take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose and let it all go.

[16:16] Out of your mouth.

[16:19] Let’s repeat that in your nose, letting it all go out of your mouth one more time in your nose and letting it go. Awakening, centering, coming back to right now. And when you’re ready, you can open your beautiful eyes.

[17:02] So maybe the next time that you’re overwhelmed, that you’re believing your negative thoughts, that you’re just feeling down, that you feel like you’re suffering, maybe you can take a moment to remember.

[17:16] They’re just thoughts.

[17:17] This is just what’s happening right now. This is what’s real. And it’s not necessarily bad and it’s not necessarily good. It just is. And if you can find any peace in that, and I hope the Vipassana practice was a cool practice for you. Whenever I do retreats, there’s always someone that that was their very favorite one. So be sure to check us out on ethereal tv, on Roku and Apple TV. And until next time, have a lovely, lovely day. Hi, y’all.

[17:52] Feeling after that stress therapy session? Good. Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, the stress therapist on social media, hestress therapist on Instagram and stresstherapy on Twitter. You can always go to ilovetherapy.com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there. If you live in Georgia and you’re ready to be one of my clients, go to my website to find out how you can sign up for a free face to face consultation with me. At the very least, jump on my mailer so you don’t stress or miss one thing. Until next time, have a lovely, lovely day.