Every Breath You Take…Finding The Present Moment
Today we get back to the basics…what does it mean exactly to “follow your breath” or “be in the present moment?” I found these things to be confusing when I was first starting out. So, today we make it super simple. Learn three different breath meditations today and pick one to practice. Let’s DO this!
In this episode we will learn:
~ The quickest simplest way to get you into the present moment.
~ Three different easy breath meditations
~ A meditation experience choosing one new breath meditation to practice with the musical stylings courtesy of The Sonic Yogi
Meditation Music by Sonic Yogi
Deep Sleep With Singing Bowls
Pythagorean Dream
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Interesting Mentions: Davidji
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[00:00] Hey, beautiful people, what’s up? It’s time to get back to the basics, man. We gotta come back to our meditation practice and make sure that we are doing it every **** day. And you can do it, too. I will show you how. We’re gonna get back to the basics, and today we’re gonna talk about presence, which is super annoying. Or at least I found it super annoying when I first started meditating. And we’re also gonna talk about our breath. Where is it? I can’t find it. I don’t know where to put my attention on. It’s making me more anxious. I totally get it. So relax and settle in and listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now. Hey, you beautiful people. It’s time for some stress therapy. A podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living in the real world. Finally, a place to park my 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now your host, me, the stress therapist sherry flake. Before we get into the thick of it, we’re going to take a teensy, tiny break. Be right back. Hey, beautiful people. How’s it going? Are you meditating every day? I hope so. Oh, I hope so. I so hope so. I just got back from a retreat, and it was such great fun, and everyone is texting me every morning to tell me how they are. Rise p meditate, members. Now. They rise p meditate. In the wise words of David G. Who taught me this. Rise p meditate. And you don’t have to rise p meditate, but you’re probably going to have a hell of a better time meditating regularly every single day if you do, right? So I even got a message this morning. One of my clients told me I’m not letting the dogs out, and they’re going crazy. She wants to rise, pee, let the dogs out. Meditate. But that’s sherry flake middle school, right? Y’all gotta start out in kindergarten now. And what we do at first is rise, pee. Meditate. So what I told her is maybe you just slide off the bed, because you know I don’t like meditation. No meditation, okay. You slide off the bed, and maybe you don’t go to your altar or cushion or space of meditation, but you just slide right off and do your short meditation there. She’s still at three minutes. But that doesn’t matter, right? How long? It doesn’t matter. Deeper is better. Okay, so you want to make sure that you’re showing up at all. But none of this really matters if you don’t know what to do when you finally get there. And so I kind of want to bring it back to the basics today. And whenever we talk about meditation or, I don’t love the word mindfulness because I think it’s a little confusing. But when we talk about mindfulness, because you can’t throw a stick anywhere on the Internet without hitting the word mindfulness right now. Okay? It’s everywhere. So if we’re talking about that, a lot of times the word breath comes in. Follow your breath. Watch your breath. Witness your breath. And I personally found this very confusing. When I first started meditating, it was just like, I don’t know where to put my attention. In my nostrils, in my throat, in my heart center, in my lungs, in my belly. Like, my breath goes so many places, I felt like it made me a little bit more anxious searching for the breath. Right. And so today I want to talk a little bit about presence and how we find it with our beautiful breath and that we start to become friends with our breath rather than allowing our roommate, our ego, that little person that constantly talking and ******** at us all day long, if she’s going on and on and on, she’s going to bring up, or he. If you’re a boy or however you identify, they are going to bring up this mad search for the breath. And really, it’s just another way to get you to stop meditating. Right? You know, you’re at odds with this voice. This voice doesn’t want you to meditate if you haven’t been meditating. This little roommate that you live with does not want you to start. We are wired up. If you know anything about me by now, you know that we are wired up to avoid change and to do everything we can to keep doing what we have been doing just because that’s what’s keeping us alive. That’s what’s worked in the survival mode. And that part of our brain, that downstairs, old part of your brain is obsessed with survival, and we’re not, right? Like, we want to open our own business or write a song or finish that novel, or we have hopes and dreams and goals. We are humans, and we’re human beings. We’re not human doings, okay? And so we do have to spend a little bit time being, and it can be really confusing when someone brings up the breath. So I’m going to give you some very practical ideas today because that’s me, right? We’re going to do this accessible. I want meditation to be something that’s easy for you. It’s not filled to the top with dogma or vague or just someone showing you pictures of them doing it. Okay, I want you to really dig in and figure out this breath thing. First of all, the reason why breath is used all the time when we first introduce meditation into our lives is because it is virtually impossible to bring yourself to the very breath that you are taking or expelling and not be in the present moment. So when I go in and teach kindergartners, say, how to meditate, I will start off by saying, who here is breathing? Okay? And as opposed to the adults that I teach, like on Thursday, I’m going to be going in and teaching seniors how to meditate. Seniors in high school. And if I ask them, who here is breathing, they’ll just all raise their hands. They won’t even think it over, right? They know that it’s a biological component of their life, keeping them alive, keeping them thriving. They’re not going to think about it. But when I ask kindergartners, who here is breathing, they all do the same thing. They close their little eyes, or they look up into the sky to the right or to the left, and they take a moment and they actually check. They do. They check. They’re like, am I still breathing? And then as soon as they notice that breath is there, their little hands shoot up into the sky, right? And I think using the breath is kind of like being a kindergartner right now. You may have heard of the idea of a beginner’s mind, and that’s kind of what I’m getting at. You want to look to your practice like a beginner, so you can always learn more. See, that’s the irony. I go to a lot of yoga classes, and I rarely look at what type of yoga it is. I like to just go when it fits in my schedule. So I might look at the teacher, but I’m not as apt to look at the type of yoga that we will be doing during that time. And so I often find myself in beginner classes. And I’ve been doing yoga since 2000. So 24 years I’ve been doing yoga. I wouldn’t classify myself as a beginner, but I am. Because every single time I go to that beginner’s class, I get something out of it 100% of the time. So it provides value, coming back to the very basics. So even if you are expert level yogi and you are meditating like a boss all the time, you still might find some value today in assessing, am I still breathing? Now, I may have ripped that off from Eckhart Tolle, I’m not really sure, but that’s how he gets people to come back into this very moment, this present time. And I don’t mean 2024, march, whatever, Tuesday or Wednesday, none of that. I mean, I don’t even know how I’m going to end this sentence now and then, now and then, now again and again. Here’s another one. Right? And I’ve said to you before, nothing’s going to happen in the future, it’s going to happen right now. And nothing’s ever happened in the past. It happened right now and I don’t want you to miss it. I just opened up my text messages and I got a message from a friend and she says, can you believe it’s springtime already? Well, yes, I can because spring always comes after winter and spring usually comes a little bit in March. I live in the United States, in the southern United States, and spring shows itself relatively early in the year here it is. Not a surprise to me. I don’t think I have this time delusion that things are rolling by so fast as severe as other people because I’m spending time actively working on being in this moment. And your breath can be the train that you roll into the station of presence if you know how to locate it. Okay, so that’s what we’re going to do. First things first. Am I still breathing? I’d like you to go ahead and check. Yeah, you are right. And raise your little kindergartner hand and be a beginner with me right now. Okay, so that’s one way. Another way is to allow your awareness while you’re meditating to come into a space where your breath either resides or passes through. It’s always passing through, but sometimes at the beginning it can feel like it’s sitting there and that’s fine. But what you want to do is either bring your attention to the coolness in the upper portion of your nostrils breathing in, or you want to bring your attention to the warmness in your nostrils breathing out, that’s nice. And low in your nostril or into your throat. Bring all of your awareness into your throat right now and just feel air passing through there. Or you could use your entire beautiful heart center where your lungs are noticing that breath comes, passes through there and goes. So it’s like sitting on a beach at the edge of the tides, right? You’re keeping your awareness right where your butt sits on the sand, but the.
[10:43] Waves come and go.
[10:45] You’re not watching the waves come and go. You are the constant. The awareness is the constant. And then you notice the breath passing through. And of course you could bring your attention to your belly if you’re having a breath that’s deep enough where your awareness can stay on your belly and you’re noticing breath coming in and then breath leaving it. So rather than following the breath the whole time, which can be a little difficult, you can allow your awareness to rest while breath comes in and out. Now you can of course do a breath meditation where you follow that breath coming in all the way through, all the way out. Okay, but this is a little easier, I think, especially for beginners, just to rest your awareness in one spot in your body where breath will pass through and allow breath to pass through, coming and going. Now, while I’m explaining all of these really cool ways to use breath meditation, it’s important that you know that your brain is going to want to take control of that breath, right? It wants something to do. And if you’re not going to think about what’s for dinner later yesterday, how you messed up or whatever, and you’re forcing your ego to sit in the presence with you, your brain is going to want to make it deeper or longer or judge it, say it’s not good enough, it should be this way instead of that way. Really try to notice that, label it, oh, I’m judging my breath or trying to change it or whatever, and just allow your breath to be whatever it is and just watch it. You are just a witness to it, as if someone else is breathing. You are just watching it and noticing it and being curious about it. Now I can prove to you that you don’t need to manipulate your breath in order for it to be there. Because like last night, you were unconscious for hopefully 8 hours and it went great. You were breathing the whole night. You did a great job. Okay. It went swimmingly well without any of your interference. So when you interfere, that’s called pranayama and that’s a whole other thing and we’ll get to that. I’ll totally talk about that. I love, love, love breath work. Totally. However, for this exercise, you are just noticing what is breath comes, breath goes. Your brain is an expert at figuring out exactly how much breath you need and when. So your brain will assess. I’m just sitting here. I’m not sprinting. I’m not trying to figure out a problem. I’m not lifting weights. Whatever it is, your brain will know when you need more breath and that’s one of the coolest things about breath, is there’s always enough of it for you. It’s a perfect cocktail for you to thrive on this planet. It’s super amazing. It’s this reciprocity with the earth and the lushness of the earth and what you expel, you give to it and it gives back. I mean, it is Quite REmaRKABLe WiTHoUt you having to get involved at all. You can just let that divine intelligence happen and you’re Just going to watch it. Now I get it. It’s very, very boring. And your brain is going to find this extremely boring within three or 4 seconds. And your job is to just notice that you’re spacing out, come back to the breath. That is the work. That’s it. That’s all you have to do. Now, if you can’t get behind this and the awareness thing and the nostrils or whatever, I totally get it. There are a couple more options. I learned from a beautiful monk in Hendersonville, North Carolina. Venerable Panawati taught me this meditation. It’s called the saw. And what she said is you can imagine that you are sawing a log, right? So with one hand, presumably your nondominant hand, you would be holding the log, okay? And with YOur dominant hand, you would.
[14:42] Be sawing it back and forth, back and forth.
[14:47] So YOur log is YOur awareness and the saw is the breath. So you would not be following the breath right? Up and in and out and in and out. Right. You wouldn’t be going back and forth with the breath because then you would saw your hand off instead of the log. Right. Your awareness stays on the log while the saw moves back and forth. So your log is YOur heart center and the saw is YOur breath. And so if you just want to bring Your attention to that beautiful place from breastplate to spine, from shoulder to shoulder, put Your awareness there and just allow your breath to be the saw. Back and forth, back and forth. Some people find that much, much easier to keep their awareness in one spot with that visualization. Now, one more idea about the breath, because I don’t want to confuse you. And as you pick one of these methods, remember, your job is to pick one for the duration of the meditation. Because if you try the saw and then you try the nostrils and then you try this one that I’m about to say, whatever your ego is winning this battle, you’re not meditating, you’re just trying a bunch of things during the meditation. Just try one for the duration of the meditation and then try a different one the next time you go sit. This is a lifelong practice. You have every single day to try out whatever you want. Okay, so here’s the last one. And this one is really popular in the Budhist tradition. I learned this when I learned vipassana. And there are lots of beautiful places to learn this meditation. You can go to Insight meditation Society. There’s one in Boston. I think there might be one in New York. Anyway, I went to the retreat in Boston and we did this meditation the entire time. And here it is. You just focus on your exhale. That’s all you do. All your awareness is on the next exhale, this exhale. That’s it. You just put all of your attention there and it can be really relaxing. And remember, Buddhists are experts in being inside of acceptance, not suffering, and just being with what is. I’m exhaling, I’m exhaling. That’s it. That’s the practice. Okay, so we’re going to meditate together now, right? We’re going to take a quick break and then we’ll be back and meditate together. And I will lead you in and then I will lead you out. I’ll be right back.
[17:38] Take a moment to sit comfortably. Sitting up, moving your neck and shoulders around a little bit, maybe your waist, maybe a little bit of a spine movement. Make sure your body is completely comfortable so you completely forget about it. With your chin level to the ground, you can close your beautiful eyes sitting up. Allow your shoulders to settle, your spine to settle, your limbs to settle. Take a couple of deep breaths, manipulating your breath into a deep breath in your nose, letting it all go out of your mouth and notice if any other micro adjustments need to be addressed. And now make a decision. What breath meditation will you be doing for the next few minutes on your own?
[18:54] A focus on a part of your.
[18:56] Body where breath comes and goes. Would you like to do the saw meditation or just focusing on your exhale? Pick one.
[19:13] Now.
[19:15] And begin to feel what it feels like to allow yourself to bring all of your awareness to breath.
[19:27] And before we part in your alone.
[19:30] In your breath awareness meditation, just allow.
[19:36] Your natural, normal breath.
[19:40] To fall into rhythm. And just for a few breaths, allow your inhales to come silently saying thank. And as your exhales leave your beautiful body, you breathing in, thank breathing out you for this glorious breath. Every single one is so good. It thank you. I’ll leave you with your beautiful breath and I’ll be back to guide you out. Allow your awareness to just fall away from the breath. Take a moment to luxuriate in this amazing, beautiful, peaceful space that you have created all on your own by just remembering your breath. This laser focus, what has it brought you? Perhaps peace. Calm. Sit in it for a moment. It’s really important that you take advantage of the moments after you’re done meditating and you don’t just pop up and move on to the next thing. Paramahansa Yogananda said that would be like kicking over the pail after you milk the cow. Just take your time. Take it. This is all you’re supposed to be doing. And now let’s take control of our breath and take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose. Let it all go out of your mouth. And another long, slow, deep breath in your nose. Allow yourself to awaken a bit, but eyes closed, and then let it all go out of your mouth. And one last cleansing awakening. Beautiful breath in, filling all the way up. And then let it all go out of your mouth. And when you’re ready, you can open your beautiful eyes.
[29:01] Close. Okay, so now when someone says, I can’t meditate, or I don’t know what they mean by put your focus on the breath, and I don’t know what to do, you have all these little tools in your pocket that you can explain to someone. If you explain it to someone, or if you teach someone else, you’re going to know it. So that’s your homework. Go ahead and teach it to someone else. Teach one of these methods to someone else. Try it out. Let me know what you love. Love hearing from you all. And a shout out to my Listers in Malta. Oh, my gosh, I’m so jelly. I cannot believe you live in that beautiful place. It looks amazing. I’ve never been there. I have been to Italy, which I also love. And shout out to my italian listeners as well. But I would love to come and visit you guys. I just love it there. I went to a yoga studio in Rome. I was there for two weeks, and oh, my goodness, I just loved that place, Zem yoga. I think it was lovely. Anyway, shout out to all of my beautiful listeners in Europe. I love you. Take care of yourself, okay? Breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Don’t forget to breathe, but don’t forget to watch it. I love you. Have a lovely, lovely day. Before I go, I want to tell you about another ethereal network shows podcast that I think you’re going to love.
[30:31] Hello, my name is Melissa Oatman and I’m the host of awaken your inner awesomeness. I’m a teacher, healer, intuitive and single mom of twins. I’m an empath and a covering people pleaser. I created awaken your inner awesomeness to help other people like me learn how to stop living their lives for others so that they could start living their absolute best lives. I cover topics in spirituality and self improvement, like setting healthy boundaries, working with the archangels, and protecting your energy. I end every episode by pulling a card of guidance to help you get a message to start your day off right. I also interview fascinating guests who cover a wide range of self help topics. If this sounds interesting to you, then what are you waiting for? Start listening today.
[31:26] How y’all feeling after that stress therapy session? Good. Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, the stress therapist on social media, at the stresstherapist on Instagram, and at stresstherapy on Twitter. You can always go to ilovetherapy.com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there. If you live in Georgia and you’re ready to be one of my clients, go to my website to find out how you can sign up for a free face to face consultation with me. At the very least, jump on my mailer so you don’t stress or miss one thing. Until next time, have a lovely, lovely day.
