Getting Ready For The New Year The RIGHT Way!
New Year’s Resolutions have a bad rep because the way that we typically go about them is all wrong! Today, we learn how to change your thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions so you are pumped and set up for success. Change is possible when we understand how our brains work and accept change.
In this episode we will learn:
~The simple and single way that you can change your New Year’s Resolutions forever and for good ~How to feel great about what you’re working on rather than bad about what we haven’t changed yet. ~Sacred questions (from davidji!) meditation
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Quotes: “Nothing magical happens on January 1st…see the whole year ahead of you as an opportunity for change and growth rather than thinking you can magically change on the first day of the year.” -Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW
Interesting Mentions:
Sacred Powers by davidji
Atomic Habits by James Clear
The Host for this podcast: Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW The Stress Therapist and Author
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Speaker A: Hey, beautiful people. So it’s that really weird time of year where the holidays are kind of over, but it’s not new year’s Eve yet, so you might be feeling a little bit lazy, maybe you’re blowing things off. Maybe you’re in a sugar stupor. Do not blow me off. We’re going to keep this short and sweet just like me, right? And I’m going to give you a quick tip on how to think about new Year’s resolutions in a different way that makes you feel like a star, not a failure. So don’t blow me off. Don’t leave. Okay, it’s time to relax and settle in in and sit back because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now. Hey, beautiful people. It’s time for some stress therapy, a podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living in the real world. Finally, a place to park my 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now your host, me, the stress therapist, Sherry Flake. Hey, beautiful people. Okay, so New Year’s Eve is coming up, which means that New year’s Day is coming up, which means that there’s a whole new year ahead of you. And I used to do a lot of work with creating healthy habits. I still do, but it used to be the bulk of my practice. And I really want to address this with you because I love you and care about you and I don’t want you to feel bad. Now, when I see new year’s resolution, I can hear you groaning. I totally get it. And if you’re over 30, you probably don’t even do it. Why? Because New year’s resolution is how we typically go about them make us feel bad. They make us feel like failures. How we typically go about them in this culture sets us up for failure. And once you’ve done that a few times, you’re like, okay, why would I even do this? And I will tell you the reason why this is is because we tend to think as January 1, as a magical day when everything is magically changed that day. And as we get older, realize that’s not true and we start to feel really bad about it. And I got to tell you, it’s not true, right? Our brains are not wired up for abrupt change. Our brains are wired up as seeing sameness as safety, right? So your brain does anything it can to get you to do what you’ve always done, even if it’s better for you to lose weight or go to the gym or whatever it is. Your new year’s resolution, your brain is a slow change agent. Okay? So January 1 is not magical according to your brain. And that’s why we set ourselves up for failure. What I would invite you to do instead, because I do want you to have goals, and I do want you to change. And I do want you to have massive plans to make your life better. Because if you’re not doing that, then what’s life even worth, right? So instead, I want you to think about New Year’s resolutions like this. Think of 2023 as the goal, okay? Not January 1. You’re starting at the goal when you think of it as a magical day. We’re starting this day. I’m going to run three times a week, or I’m going to play the guitar 5 minutes a day. Funny how we don’t say, I’m going to have conversational fluency of Chinese on January 1. We see that’s not possible, but we don’t see that it’s not possible with any of these goals. By the end of 2023, I would like to have conversational fluency in Chinese. End of 2023, I would like to be running three times a week for 20 minutes. By the end of 2023, I want to be really good at keeping up my relationships and being in touch with my friends. That way you can do monthly goals and check in on them on the reg and make sure you’re on task and in alignment with your purpose. So by the end of 2023, you’re actually meeting your goals. It’s amazing. It’s amazing. So I want you to have this. So sit down, write a few things down, and give it some thought this week. And we’ll touch base next week. But right now, we’re going to do a New Year’s resolution the right way. Meditation.
Meditation: So when we’re are considering any change in our lives, it’s important to get some clarity and to ask ourselves, face ourselves in meditation and ask sacred questions. That may be hard, maybe not. And when you ask these questions that I’m going to present to you, you don’t have to overthink it. You don’t have to think at all. You just ask the questions over and over in your head. And if something bubbles up, if something presents itself, that’s great. And if not, you just move on. It could come to you later. Or maybe now is not the time to answer that question. So sit up and find a comfortable space. Allow your head and neck to settle and your arms and legs and hands and feet to settle in. Allow yourself to be as comfortable as possible so we can go deeper, kind of forget about the body and come inside a little deeper. So to begin, take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose. Let that breath go out of your mouth and again in your nose. A long, long, slow, deep breath. And let that breath go. And allow your body to relax even more with each outbreath. Again in your nose. Then let it all go out of your mouth and just allow yourself a moment to watch your breath return to its normal rhythm. Maybe a little gratitude for how magical that is. Your brain just knows just what to do, just how much breath you need just watching it come, watching it go, and ask yourself silently, what do I value? What are my own personal values? What makes up my value system if I have one in this life? What do I truly value? Allow yourself to sit with this question for a moment. Allow your inquiry to fall away and begin asking yourself silently, what are my gifts? What do I bring to the table? What gifts have been given me that I might utilize on this earth? What are those great gifts of mine? And sit with your question and then just allow it to blow away in the ether and ask yourself, what do I want? What do I truly desire more than anything? What is my heart’s desire? What do I want to be? What do I want to have? What do I want to do? Sit with your desires for a moment and allow your question to float away as if it’s a cloud in the sky. And ask yourself, what is my purpose? Why am I here on this earth? What is my true purpose? And allow this question to move away from your awareness. Just ask yourself, who am I? Who am I? Sit with this question. There’s no right answer. Who am I? Then allow these sacred questions to just rest in the air, to be blown out into the universe, letting them all go, and allow yourself to come into this room and this time again, take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose. Let it all go out of your mouth. Awaken to this time in this moment, an awakening breath in your nose and then let it all go out of your mouth. And when you’re ready, you can open your beautiful eyes.
Speaker A: Okay, so hopefully you’re feeling good about the new year. Get a little bit of clarity and a little bit of that planning mentality and your homework is to sit down and make a year long plan. Remember, when we plan things, we’re just making a plan. It doesn’t have to be set in stone or anything, but if you don’t have a plan and you change things up, it’s just being wishywashy. If you have a plan and you change things up, you’re just being very thoughtful and you’re being flexible with your plan, which is way more manageable. So take a little bit of time, just a few minutes to kind of figure out what you would like by the end of 2023. Now, at the end of January, I’m going to be helping people make meditation a part of their everyday living in the mountains with the meditation and yoga retreat with the lovely Cindy Dollar. So if you want information on that, you can go to Ilovetherapy.com and keep your chin up. Remember, the most important thing about any kind of change is to feel good, to do whatever you have to do to feel good. Don’t feel bad about what you haven’t done. Feel good about what you’re working on. Have a lovely, lovely day. How y’all feeling after that stress therapy session? Good. Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, the Stress Therapist on social media, at the Stress Therapist on Instagram, and at Stresstherapy on Twitter. You can always go to ilovetherapy.com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there. If you live in Georgia and you’re ready to be one of my clients, go to my website to find out how you can sign up for a free face to face consultation with me. At the very least, jump on my mailers so you don’t stress or miss one thing. Until next time, have a lovely, lovely day.
