What To Do When EVERYONE is Driving You Nuts!
Ever notice times in your life when all of the sudden everyone is driving you nuts?? Nothing seems to be going right and everyone is annoying or wrong or just plain crazy. Today, we’ll go over what might be going on with you when this is happening and exactly what to do to fix it. Super excited about our “Train Station Meditation” today as well. Let’s Ohm it all out and really get a great session today on Stress Therapy.
In this episode we will:
~Learn just what is going on with everyone and everything is driving you nuts
~Multiple resources on how to shake it off and get back to peaceful living
~Train Station Ohm Meditation
The Host for this podcast: Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW The Stress Therapist, LLC and Author
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Quotes: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”-Gandhi
“If everyone is bugging you, the bad news is, it’s you 😉 And the great news is, you have complete control over you! So, you can fix it!” -Cheri Augustine Flake, LCSW
Interesting Mentions:
Watch the Apple TV Show Shrinking
Watch Pema Chödrön: This Lousy World Video
Ignatious House Retreat Center in Sandy Springs Georgia (This is the specific lovely Mindfulness Retreat that Cheri Attended)
A Course In Miracles with Marianne Williamson
The Spirit Sherpa Podcast with Kelle Sparta
Website: http://www.KelleSparta.com
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YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0jXbllhVlDcHRqMSQpR2DQ
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A word from your host, Cheri Flake, LCSW: Feeling good after our Stress Therapy session? Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, The Stress Therapist on social media or go to www.iLoveTherapy.com to find out about meditation classes & meditation and yoga retreats.
TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00] Hey, beautiful people. Are you ever looking around and just thinking, oh, my gosh, everyone is nuts, everyone is driving me crazy? Today, I’m going to tell you exactly what’s going on, when this is going down, and how to fix it. It’s season six on stress therapy, all the little secrets that this psychotherapist wants you to know. So relax and settle in and listen up because your stress therapy session is about to begin right now. Hey, beautiful people. It’s time for some stress therapy. A podcast about how to meditate and get better at stress for people living in the real world. Finally, a place to park my 25 plus years of experience of working as a psychotherapist in the mental health field. And now, your host, me, the stress therapist, Sherry Flake. Okay, before we get into the thick of it, we’re going to take a teensy tiny break. Be right back. Hey, beautiful people, what’s happening? Okay. So have you ever had the experience where, like, everywhere you look, every person you talk to, every situation you’re in, I mean, you just you’re convinced that everyone is nuts, they’re all just driving you absolutely crazy and that no one is getting it, no one understands you, everyone is annoying, no one is kind like you’re just getting it, getting it. And every way you turn, it’s just going poorly no matter what. I totally get it. I had a day like this like a week ago, and I was like, oh, my gosh. And I was lucky it was only for a day, right? Like, sometimes it lasts and lasts. And here’s the bummer. Okay? So now before I get into it, I just want to ask you a question that everyone has been asking me lately. And the question is, have you seen the show Shrinking, right, where this guy is a psychotherapist and he just throws it all out? He throws out all of his clinical knowledge and he just starts telling all of his clients things that are not ready to hear, things that aren’t even really that kind, but he thinks might really help them in the long run anyway. And he’s dealing with his own struggles, of course. But the point of it is, here’s the thing that I kind of wish that I could say to my clients who come to me with this problem and what I had to realize for myself when I, too, was having this problem, because no one is spared of this awful feeling that no one gets you. Everything sucking and everyone is sucking. And here’s the thing. When everyone is driving you nuts, not one person, not one situation, not one decision, not one day, not one event, but everyone is driving you crazy. It’s not them, it’s you. That’s the bad news. And when I was on a retreat once, a long, long time ago, one of the retreat leaders played this video of Pema Trojan. I’ll put it in the show notes. It’s amazing. She is a Tibetan Buddhist monk, and what makes her so lovely and relatable, well, according to me, is that she’s American and she was a householder, she used to be married, and before she became a monk, she was a lot like you and me, right? And she’s just so sweet and she presents her lessons in such a relatable way. And this video was only like a minute long, and again, I’ll put it in the show notes for you. But she starts talking about being on retreat. And I’m leaving today to go on retreat. By the way, I’m going to be going to the Ignatius house here in Atlanta. It’s really close. Usually I go kind of far and usually I go kind of long. This is like a half hour from my house, and it’s only going to be three days. It is going to be silent, which would be nice, but it’s very short. So she starts talking about being on retreat. And it can be kind of annoying to be on retreat because you can’t talk and all of these noises are going on and on. And I’ve done podcasts about being on retreat, and maybe when I come back, I’ll cover that again. But you’re with all these people and your brain is just so busy trying to judge and figure everybody out without talking to anybody, right? Like, you can’t talk to anybody. And depending on the retreat, you renunciate your phone. You can’t read, you can’t write, you can’t even take pictures with your phone. They really want you to just face yourself, man, and listen to what your thoughts are saying and listen to the listener and separate yourself from your thoughts and realize that you’re not your thoughts. But your ego is just so obsessed with trying to label everybody. And of course, at the end of the retreat, you realize everything you thought about everyone was wrong. But she’s sitting at the retreat and she’s like, this person, they’re taking this too seriously. And that person’s cologne is so strong, and they’re not supposed to wear any oils in the retreat room or pardon me, in the meditation hall. And that person’s driving me nuts, and this person’s too noisy and all this stuff. And then she describes the idea that a lot of us are just going around this earth and we all know someone like this. I mean, I’m thinking a particular person in my life right now when I say this that just is constantly going around and little by little, with every single thing that’s driving them nuts, they’re trying to fix it, address it, get mad about it, express anger about it, confront it, whatever. And they go around and go and round and go around and do this over and over and over. And Pama says, I actually have a.
[05:57] Plant in my kitchen named Pama because. [05:59] I love her so much. But she says they’re going around the earth, and they’re trying to cover everything in leather, so everywhere they step, they don’t get burned. And really, if you just covered your own feet in leather, you wouldn’t get burned. And so it kind of comes back to that message that’s very pervasive right now. And it’s really good to actually listen to. I think it’s from Gandhi. Be the change that you want to. [06:30] See in the world. [06:30] Like, start with yourself. The course in Miracles says, you know, you don’t have to change the world. That change begins with you. And changing your thoughts, changing the way that you think about things, change within yourself is what causes change in the world. Which is kind of the same message, right? And of course, of course, the Miracles is much more eloquent and articulate in stating this than I am. So I can also put a link to the course in the show notes. But the whole idea is when you are walking around and you are unhappy and everyone and everything is driving you nuts, it’s not them, it’s you, right? And so you have to there is a lot of truth to that idea. If not you, it’s me. So you have to get quiet and meditate and be still. And notice the more you meditate, the more you realize that separation between your thoughts and yourself. And I’ve said this before, but if you really do listen to the listener, you are actually the one that is listening to your thoughts. You’re not creating them. Some, even scientists, quantum theorists, say that those thoughts aren’t even yours, that they’re coming from the ether. Who knows? But I’m just saying, the more that you can separate yourself from those thoughts, realize you are not those thoughts, and that you are not a victim of those thoughts. And you don’t have to believe those thoughts, even if you have them all the time, even if they keep coming up and they seem so important, perhaps the way to changing those is to. [08:10] Think something else over and over and over again. [08:13] And perhaps then, just like people who drink the Koolaid, you believe those thoughts. And so what is it going to be? Is it going to be, everyone is driving me nuts? I mean, definitely, that’s going to make it worse. I tell all of my clients, and they really struggle with this, but I tell all of my clients to stop saying you’re tired when you talk about being tired, when you think about being tired, when you complain about being tired, it makes it worse 100% of the time. So stop doing it. Woohoo. You can stop doing it. You can stop saying you’re tired. And don’t use synonyms. That’s cheating. Exhausted is the same thing as being tired or whatever. Don’t talk about it. Don’t think about it. When you think that thought, replace it with the thought of I feel energized or refreshed or rejuvenated or whatever it is. But get that thought out of your head. And furthermore, I think it’s important to mention here to not say, I am not tired. Remember that part of your brain thinks in pictures and the thought, I am not tired, the picture of that would be tired with an X through it, right? So you want it to be a picture of what you want, not a picture of what you don’t want. Because your brain does not acknowledge X’s through things or not or negatives or any of that. It just sees the picture of tired. So you want to be saying things and thinking about things and bringing pictures into your head that are the opposite of that, right? Energized, rejuvenated. Even if it’s not true, even if you don’t believe it, you do it anyway, because eventually that little cup, I mean, it runth over and all of a sudden you’re like, oh my gosh, I am rejuvenated. I am energized. Okay? So take it for someone like me who’s actually like, jumping around the room with energy, okay? I’m telling you, it’s possible you can get yourself out of the tired rift. And this is how you do it by starting with yourself, and you do it by facing yourself. And a lot of people think I’m crazy. Last night I was at a tennis match, and one of the tennis coaches was like, I can’t believe you’re going to be quiet for three days, which isn’t really that long. I’ve gone on way longer retreats than that. She’s like, I could never do it. I’m like, oh my gosh, all I ever do is talk. I’m the hugest extrovert you’ve ever met. And it is the best thing. And that comes to sort of the idea of what you resist is maybe what you really, really need. And I’m telling you, I do think everyone on this Earth could benefit greatly. [10:28] From sitting quietly and just facing yourself. [10:32] And hearing the way that you’re talking to yourself and hearing the way that you’re judging other things and people and events and situations and just noticing that and not feeling bad about it. Not berating yourself because of it, but just noticing it. And perhaps one day you can become friends with yourself. So let’s start right now and meditate together right now. [11:04] Take a moment and find your comfortable sitting space. Allow your chin to be level to the ground and your limbs to settle in, and your spine from the base of your skull all the way down to your sacrum to settle in. Just allow yourself this time to stop moving so much, to stop asking yourself to do something more, remembering you’re a human being, not a human doing. And just remind yourself when you want to jump up and do something or contemplate something from yesterday or worry about. [11:55] Something from the future. [11:56] Just remember, you’re here to honor your beautiful self. Allow your hands to be in Guillan mudra where you’re making the okay sign with your first finger and your thumb, but your palms are on your knees. And in this mudra, I want you to close your beautiful eyes, allow the muscles around your face and forehead and jaw and neck to settle. And in your mind’s eye, I want you to put yourself at a very lonely and abandoned but not scary train station. And at this train station, there’s a track on one side that’s coming there’s a track on the other side that’s going, but I want you to face the track that’s coming in. There might be a little ticket station there, but there’s no one there but you. So go ahead and sit down on the little bench that they have there, noticing that there’s a paper on the bench. Remember the physical newspaper? There it is. And just sit down at the train station. It’s very quiet, there’s nothing happening. You’re totally alone and you’re safe and sound. You’re just sitting at the train station. Now, I want you to pick up the paper and notice that the paper just says the same thing. The headline is. [13:58] Ohm. Oh. [14:08] In every article, in every line, and there are no pictures but big inserts of the picture of the word ohm. This paper is filled with just Ohm. And so sitting on the bench in the train station reading the paper. [14:35] All. [14:35] You read is Ohm, om. [14:41] Om. [14:58] And then you notice, here comes a train. And it’s a thought and it’s rolling in and it’s really disruptive and it’s loud and it’s about the future or the past, or it’s about something else you’re supposed to be doing, or the time that you don’t have to read this paper and sit at this train station. And you look up and you have a choice. You can get on the car, the train that’s coming in, and you can honor that thought and think that thought and analyze it and get knee deep in it, or you can stay on the bench just reading the paper. Look back to your paper. Look back to the paper, om. [15:49] Om, om. [16:02] And just notice that when you have thoughts that want to lure you onto that car and take you wherever that car is going, you have a choice. You can step on and ride it, or you can stay on the bench and read your paper silently repeating to yourself, oh. And so I want you to make a conscious decision to stay right here on the bench with your paper reading, seeing and silently saying to yourself again and again. [16:53] Om o. [17:04] And every time a thought comes, you have a choice. You can look up and see the subject matter of the thought that’s being intrusive, and you can jump on that car and ride it wherever that car is going to take you, analyzing, thinking, planning, regretting, hurting, sadness, anxiety, or. [17:27] You. [17:27] Can stay right there on the bench just reading your paper. [17:32] O. [17:43] And you may even have a moment of realizing you’ve gotten on a car and you didn’t even know it. And here you are thinking about something other than the ohm paper. Get off of the next stop. Go sit down on the bench. Pick up the paper. [18:06] Om. Om. [18:17] I’m gonna leave you at the train station with your paper and I’ll be back to bring you out. [18:29] Om oh. [27:11] Take a moment to look around your train station. Note how it makes you feel to be here. Allow yourself to just sit in the silence that you’ve created. Now you can allow the paper to just sit gently next to you and you can go ahead and bring yourself back into the room. You’re in the four walls, the space, the colors. Without opening your eyes, just realize that you’re in a different space. Take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose and let it all go out of your mouth and remembering where you are and maybe what this beautiful day may bring, take a long, slow, deep breath in your nose cleansing, and let it all go out of your mouth. And one last awakening breath in your nose, out of your mouth, relaxing your beautiful shoulders. And when you’re ready, you can open your lovely, lovely eyes. [28:53] So hoping you’re feeling amazing after that meditation. [28:55] And just know that this is just. [28:57] One little door that you have opened. It might seem annoying that I’m telling you that when everyone’s driving you nuts that you need to work on yourself, but I’m just saying there are a couple of things about that that are beautiful. First of all, you have total control over your reactions, your responses, your behavior, and your thoughts. And so you get to choose how you’re going to be about something. And it gives you all the power. You don’t have to run around and fix everybody and everything. A lot of times I hear people, my clients will say, I don’t want this person to think this thing. I’m like, you’re going to have a 0% success rate with that. What do you want to think? What do you want to exude? What do you want to give over and over? Because that is what you’re going to be getting. And if you’re giving out all this anger, frustration, annoyance, that is what you’re getting. Even if that person isn’t going to give it right back to you. The course of miracle says that you will feel like that anyway, because that’s what you’re given out. And so that’s all there is for you to perceive is coming back at you. And that is miserable. And I don’t want you to have that. I want you to have these moments of peace and loveliness because you deserve it. You are a holy and divine creation and creator. And if you do this little bit of work on yourself first, I think you’re going to find that your outlook on the world is so much kinder, so much more lovely. And that is the name of the game. Okay, so you might have noticed that it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen you, and I got to tell you, I tried to do the every week thing for like, two years, and it’s just way better for me, my family, my practice, and for you, I think, for me to just be here every two weeks. So we’re going to continue on the. [30:42] Every other week stress therapy sessions. [30:45] I’ll see you in two weeks. Have a lovely day. Before I go, I want to tell you about another ethereal network of Shows podcast that I think you’re going to love. [30:57] Welcome to Spirit Sherpa, the show that helps and encourages you on your journey to unlock your magic mojo. I’m the Spirit doctor, Kelly Sparta, and I’m here to walk you through the next stage of your spiritual awakening. If you are new, start at the beginning and you’ll learn the basics, from crystals and tarot cards to how to evolve and grow as a person. If you’re further along in your journey, then start in the middle and learn more esoteric concepts, as well as mythology, chakras, and how to become a light worker. Oh, and I’m going to add in a ritual or two, as well as some sound healings that are going to knock your socks off. And I’ve got some great guests that you’re just going to love. I’m here to stitch together every class you’ve ever taken into one big worldview. Join us as we explore the extent of the energy world and the depths of ourselves, all while having a great time. You can find me@spiritschirpapodcast.com or Spirit Sherpa on your favorite podcast player, Question Mark. [31:58] How y’all feeling after that stress therapy session? Good. Awesome. Check out the show notes to connect with me, the stress therapist, on social media, at the Stresstherapist, on Instagram, and at stresstherapy on Twitter. You can always go to ilovedtherapy.com to find out about meditation and yoga retreats and other offerings that I have there. If you live in Georgia and you’re ready to be one of my clients, go to my website to find out how you can sign up for a free face to face consultation with me. At the very least, jump on my mailers so you don’t stress or miss one thing. Until next next time, have a lovely, lovely day.
