Hello beautiful people!
How is your day going?
Me? I had the whole day “off.”
Today, I got up super early after having slept pretty well last night. The kids were immersed in virtual school, so I had the whole day ahead to myself!
First thing in the morning, I prayed. I meditated. Then, I did a really hard work out. After that, a bit of yoga. I did some spiritual reading. I even wrote some in my journal. Then, I completely cleaned out my email inbox. I finished holiday shopping. I wrapped a few presents. By the early evening, I had gotten through my whole to-do list! Then I did a bit of tidying, gave the dog a walk, goofed off with the kids, made a pretty good dinner and threw in a load of laundry.
I mean, am I killing it or what?!
Is this a typical day? Oh, hell no! Ha!
And, here’s the thing…I feel a bit crappy today.
Whaaaaaat!? I know, right?
You may be thinking, “But you were so productive! You should feel like a million bucks!”
But I don’t (and don’t “should” on me!😂 ).
So, here is another delusion blown out of the water.
That is, you cannot equate your productivity with value. It doesn’t work…not for long anyway.
Sure, on occasion, it feels good to get the job done, but there will always be more to do.
When it comes down to it, we’re all just a bunch of Waffle House dishwashers. Yep.
You do the dishes. They keep coming and you can’t get too far 
behind too often because then you have a lot of dishes because…Well, there are always more dishes, right? Sometimes you can count on a rush of dirty dishes like after church or weekend late night party goers (remember parties??), but life is pretty much about doing the work, and just finding a good stopping place because you are never done.
And, is this even the goal?? To…what? Finish everything. That sounds like a lame goal to me. If this were true we would go to concerts just for the encore, right?
But still…we hurry up and get to the restaurant so we can hurry up and go on break so we can hurry up and punch out so we can hurry up and get home so we can hurry up and get dinner made so we can hurry up and get to bed so we can get up and…do the dishes.
Wait. When do we get to be happy again?? When are we done exactly?
This is why the “When-Then Trap” is real. You know, “When this happens, then I’ll be happy.”
If this were true, when I got to my grandma’s on Christmas when I was six would have kicked off my lifetime of happiness. That’s it! It’s happened! So, all is well now…whew! It didn’t work out that way, did it? Or, when I finally became a senior in high school, or when that class was over in college, or after the wedding day, or when my kid walked…and on and on it goes.
I can hear you moaning.
Your brain may want go right to despair. “Thanks Cheri! So that means that even if I get all my shit together, I’m still not gonna be happy. Awesome news, thanks for the pick me up! I might not even be in a good mood! Sweet! Thanks for the motivation, Cheri!”
It may be true that yes, even if you have a day or a year to get it all perfect, you will probably not be at peace but as powerless as this may leave you, it’s quite the contrary.
It’s actually quite empowering.
If I put all that I’ve done today aside…if I move the to-do list, and plans and desires and wishes all away from me, I’m left with this very moment. With this very thought. With this very breath. What’s there? Opportunity.
In every single moment there is an opportunity to feel peace, joy, hope or even nothing at all. Peace is always there for the taking…it doesn’t magically appear only when you are “done.” But we just push it off, we think we don’t deserve it.
But when we actually stop and allow peace to bubble up, we remember why we are running around like nut jobs trying to get it all done…because we care about something or someone, because we have passion or purpose. Because we serve.
We work so hard to avoid right Now, though…I think the problem may be that we are afraid to be left with just Now.
If we grasp onto the past, we can define ourselves by our accomplishments and our roles in the world. If we reach for the future, we see the potential of so much to come but we never stay in the very moment that we’re in long enough to even see it, let alone enjoy it.
“Fear itself does not exist in the world.
There are only fearful thoughts and avoidance behaviors.”
-Dr. Wayne Dyer
I think this quote may be interpreted in a way that insists that you get moving. Fear not! Go for it! Just do it!
But I think it’s more about facing yourself…about our own creation of fear in our own heads. What if I’m not enough or I’m not doing enough or doing it all wrong? What if I do it all and still feel bad?
Maybe if I just keep cranking out this to do list, I can feel good about myself.
Yuck. Here’s the newsflash. You can feel good about yourself for any old damn reason! If you’re here on this Earth, Go for it! Just do it! Feel GOOD!
We know innately that the productivity lie is a bunch of crap anyway because nobody lays on their deathbed wishing that they would’ve gotten more laundry done or knocked off a few more things off of our task list each day. We know that this is not what life is all about even though we spend most of our time trying to do more or kicking ourselves when we don’t do enough.
Who decides what’s enough anyway??
If you can decide you aren’t enough, then I guess I can decide that you ARE. You are enough. I promise.
Here is my gift to you. You can be happy and feel good. That’s it. You want permission. Here it is!
The truth is that productivity does not guarantee happiness just like non-productivity does not guarantee sadness. Basically, I’m saying that you can be happy while you’re doing the dishes. You can be happy with the dishes dirty in the sink, you can be happy on the drive home from work. You can be happy!
Violet taking some time on the porch to enjoy the Christmas decorations.
I took Christmas decorating pretty seriously this year. My house looks like Macy’s inside and out. I absolutely love decorating but there was a little thought that kept creeping up and whispering in my ear saying,”Who’s gonna put all his crap away??” I kept doing and hanging and untangling knowing that I had to get the job done.
I kept to having a reel myself back in…to remember that I actually enjoyed this process and allowed myself to enjoy it. Fully. Then, when it was done. I had to force myself to sit and enjoy what I created. Not just move on to the next Christmas task.
Over the weekend, I sat on my porch with eggnog in my coffee (a must try if you haven’t!) and read my holiday horror book (I know, I know) and just sat with all the trees and lights and little details of decor that I realized was not just for my family and neighbors, but for me to enjoy as well.
I don’t know what the future is going to bring. I certainly couldn’t have predicted what we’re all going through now. But I’m gonna take my moments and I’m gonna let them be what they are. This is why I love the phrase “take my time.” TAKE IT.
Although sometimes it feels like we are a victim of our thoughts, we’re not. Maybe you find it hard to sit in the moment you’re in…know that at times, we all do. This all takes a bit of practice.
There will always be more to do. There will always be something to try or something that you wish you were doing. This is a gift for you. May you still have desires and wishes when you’re 150 years old!
In the meantime, receive the gift to your lovely self. Stop, notice the moment you’re in. Take a mental picture, or a real one, but don’t just post it or show it and move on. BE in it. Give thanks for it. Luxuriate in it and take your time.
Meanwhile, my New Year’s Resolution is exactly the same this year as it was last year. I’m not going to magically change on January 1st. I’m not going to get more things done.
No. This year my resolution is to have less to do.
Wishing you a most fabulous 2021!
Sending love and light, peace and healing to you and yours,
P.S. I completed this newsletter at the very end of December before I brought 2021 in with a BANG and even though we followed all the rules, somehow I got Covid! I’m recovered now and so are my children. But this was quite an experience for me. I learned so so so much! More than I could have imagined. My next newsletter will cover what Covid was like for my family and how our experience may help you or someone you love that has come down with Covid.
I’m really excited to schedule a meditation retreat in 2021 as soon as it makes sense. Please please PLEASE reach out to me if you would be interested in going on retreat with me for a weekend of meditation, yoga and amazing cuisine in the mountains. Please include what it would take to get you there…antibodies? Testing beforehand? Quarantine? Let me know!
I can’t wait to see all of you in person, but until then, got any ideas for virtual workshops? Hit me up here with your idea!
