Hello beautiful people!
How are your pandemic and New Year’s resolutions coming along?
The three big complaints that my clients have here lately are a lack of motivation, an inability to focus and overwhelming stress. The pandemic seems to be the constant magnifier of distractibility.
Why is it so hard to focus right now?
After getting numerous requests from media outlets also wanting the answer to this very question, it seems that the problem might be getting worse. One answer lies inside of ourselves…namely, our thoughts and thinking patterns.
Scientists say that we have about 60,000-80,000 thoughts a day! If this is true, it’s really, really important to keep an eye on what we are thinking about exactly.
Why?
If our thoughts are centered on despair about national politics, cultural uprisings, getting a potentially dangerous virus or even an awkward Zoom meeting then “stressed-out” has become the normal thing. We can’t seem to get away from it either as we surround ourselves with devices and technology that are created to keep us wanting more and “require” our constant attention. This creates unhealthy habits that we may not even be aware of but are definitely making focusing extremely difficult.
I have two little kids, so there is a lot of learning and life experience going on at any given moment. One of our family mottos is, “Practice makes better.” This means that whatever you put your attention on repeatedly is actually a skill that is getting better every single time you revisit it.
What fires together wires together.
This also means that it is really, really important that we pay attention to what it is we “practice.” That is, what are you spending your time on and thereby honing your skills?
Since the pandemic hit, the answer to this question has been activities that are mostly solitary, online and inside. 🙁
The fact is we are all consumers and “users” online whether we want to be or not. Big businesses understand that our attention is what they want and they design everything to grab it. It works! All of us have gone down a virtual rabbit hole and then later been showed ads that strangely appeal to exactly…well, you.
Another attribute to this difficult time is the stress of it all. Focus and attention are extremely difficult over chronically stressful times. One thing we have learned here together is that none of the big stressors that hit their peak in 2020 are going away anytime soon. Maybe our red flag stress states have come down a bit, but our pink flags are always just a little bit raised and this too leaves us vulnerable to attention problems.
Add the stress of the times to the dings and notification messages and even fun distractions as are constantly connected to apps and games and websites that have nothing to do with what we may have wanted to accomplish that day, and it’s…a LOT.
Simply put, being whisked away from task to task all day long is honing that skill. Distraction.
The remedy is to hone our skills in focusing. This is what meditation is…meditation is practicing concentration. If you practice meditation everyday, concentration is what gets better. Also, as an added bonus, meditation helps us all get better at stress.
In fact, the benefits of meditation are so great that as a mental health professional, I see it as a great ethical obligation to teach it to as many people as I possibly can. The emotional and physiological benefits alone prove that meditation is about as good for you as water. Nowadays, I even see eating as secondary to meditation!
Ok, so you saw that meditation lecture coming but…
What else helps?
Even if you think you are good multitasker, the bad news is…You’re not. No one is. Studies show that you are 40% less effective if you are multitasking. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of folding laundry with wrist weights on and having fun with my daughter while cooking but true multi-tasking where you actively try to have your mind on two (or more!) tasks at once, isn’t happening and doesn’t work so just give it up!
Many of us don’t know (especially our bosses, ha!) that our brains actually need a break about every 90 minutes. If you can work this into your life, I highly recommend it. But keep in mind what a “break” is…go outside. Listen to music. Pet or walk your dog. Meditate! This doesn’t mean more email more news, more doing. In the wise words of Wayne Dyer, “You are not a human doing, you are a human BEing.” So, just be.
James Clear says that you are 90% more likely to do something if you plan it. NINETY. That’s amazing to me…but time and time again with my clients and personally, I always find this to be true. When my girlfriend comes over to do yoga on Monday morning at 7am, I am clearly doing it, right? Compare that plan with, “I’m going to do more yoga this week.” Yeah, right. When, where, what and (maybe even add with who) and then park it on
your calendar. My kids call me a boomer but the motto with my clients is always, “The plan is the JAM!” 😉
If you have a big thing to complete, do it FIRST thing. This is when you are at the best brain power! Don’t waste it on news, YouTube or words with friends! Don’t get distracted by your phone! Get up and do. I recommend trying this out with new behaviors that you are trying to make habitual. I personally put my phone on airplane mode before bed and keep it on this setting until after I have meditated, prayed and exercised each morning.
Lastly, and I teach a class on this because this is such a success with my clients, consider looking into using your phone for some tasks that it was created to do FOR you. Here you are walking around with a personal assistant every where you go that you might not even be using. Reminders, Calendar, Notes and yes, millennials, even Siri could be your new besties! If you are having 80,000 thoughts a day, let’s have a few original thoughts, new ideas and creative pondering rather than a running list of things you need to remember or tasks you need to complete.
Declutter your brain and focus on what is important to you.
Much love and light, peace and healing to you and yours,
Click here to check out Cheri’s most recent guided meditation on YouTube,
Gratitude Meditation to Start the Day Off Just Right!
