The reason that employees often have inboxes in work settings is because frankly, this system works. I realize that suggesting that you put together an in and out box situation in your home is unconventional; it could even be considered cold or unfamily-like in nature, but just hear me out…
Do you have something that you need addressed, fixed, dealt with, paid or delegated that you really don’t feel like getting into a big discussion about? Perhaps, there is even an item (or two!) that has been on “the list” so long, it has become a point of contention and therefore, warrants even more avoidance.
I live in your world. I know what it’s like to want to pass along ideas, bills, forms and other tasks without another word about it. An inbox system will provide this for you and I’ll be honest, it’s quite nice. Also, this type of set up speaks to men. If your husband works outside the home, he probably has one at work and so he is used to this way of communication. And, although there are exceptions to every rule, men tend to think things through and women tend to talk things through.
An inbox system allows for that while keeping your better half in a comfort zone, as well. When you bring this idea to your partner (with inboxes already in place and ready to go), if he is a man, he will likely LOVE it. Which means he will USE it. Which puts mom in a wonderful, stress-free position.
The pre-inbox meeting is imperative. It will lay down the rules and introduce the system. Be sure to make this meeting “official.” That is, with no kid distractions, and with undivided attention.This is the only time that you will be talking about the inbox, where it is located, what will be allowed in it, how it can be helpful to both parties and most importantly, the various expectations from both of you on how it will work and what it will entail on a day to day basis.
At this meeting, be sure to tell your man that you won’t be asking about items in the inbox. Instead, you both will mutually agree that you will check the box regularly (decide what that means for each of you) and address the items accordingly and in a timely manner (discuss what the specifics are here, as well). In fact, I would stress how you are looking forward to not discussing the goings on regarding the inbox and instead pumped about more lighthearted, fun talks and connection time together instead.
In the end, It’s important that your verbal contract regarding the box is concrete, agreed upon and taken seriously. It sounds like a pain, but just as with potty training, work on the front end has a big payoff on the back end. 🙂 After all, you’ll only be talking about it once, right?
Note that this system also perfectly prompts him for the “Love List”: The foolproof way to get your man through that “honey do” list without nagging.
If you want to learn more about the “Love List” and other super simple systems that can make your life way easier, sign up for my workshop this Tuesday night, August 27th from 6:30pm-8:30pm. You’ll learn this savvy trick as well as many others to get that Mom Office in order and all of your systems in your household running smoothly and without your constant attention – leaving you with more energy and time for other endeavors.
