In light of all that is going on all around us, I want you to know that
I am here for you.
It can be really scary to not know exactly what’s happening right now…or, what will happen tomorrow…or, the next day…or, next week…or, this summer…or, even next year!
One thing you might want to ask yourself now is…
But did you ever really know?
I mean really…?
I was absolutely certain that we were going to the beach with friends over spring break. I picked the place, paid the bill and even cleaned out the beach bucket in the basement imagining my lovely, fun beach vacation.
I’m not going.
Neither are you.
I sure thought I knew though…I was so sure.
Now, things seem…uncertain.
But were they ever certain? Really?
They sure seemed certain…even though when you think about it, nothing is ever certain.
We just don’t know.
Our egos like to think they know what will happen in the future…and when things begin to look uncertain or even bleak or scary, our ego sends a panic signal to our brains. “What’s happening?!” It screams. And when there is no viable answer, no beach house reservation to daydream about, our brains put their dukes up, ready for a fight…but there is no one there to fight.
This triggers even more scary thoughts and even physical symptoms of stress exacerbating the panic and fear.
Talking yourself through it doesn’t seem to work either. See, this part of our brain doesn’t speak English. This is why telling ourselves to “just relax” rarely works and even sometimes makes things worse.
So, when emotions run high, the brain assumes the worst case scenarios: there must some kind of predator that’s about to eat us or a precipice that we are about to fall off of…but still nothing threatening shows up so the next thing we know for sure is that we are anxious and worried.
The worst part is, we can’t figure out how to feel better and can’t resolve a thing because this alarm center is wired up to keep looking for danger in the environment.
So, it looks and looks and keeps looking…and then, it begins to find…and finds more and more to validate the “danger.” We turn on the news and watch the same stories and information over and over…and then we keep looking on our phones for more, more, MORE and it’s never enough…
And still…we don’t really know…not really.
So then, we talk about it and text about it and fret some more and spread what we learned to our friends and anyone online that will listen and still it’s not enough – and then we can’t sleep and we feel awful and whew…it’s exhausting.
It’s just… too much, right?
And still we don’t feel better. Still we don’t know.
Try this…Look around the room you are in right now. What’s happening in it?
(If your TV is on, indulge me and turn it completely off…for reals)
Really look around the room you are in…what do you see?
Messy homeschool? A sleeping dog? Remnants of breakfast? Pictures unperturbed on the wall? Your favorite blanket laying on the couch? A book you want to read?
Is there chaos? Is there pandemonium?
Everything looks pretty good. Could it be…? All is well in this moment?
Could it be that the stress and turmoil and worry and fear is not all around you but inside of you? In your thoughts? In your guts? In your heart?
It could be.
Three months ago when all this was just a shadow of a problem that belonged to another land, were you worried about this week? This day?
How was all that “not worrying”? Pretty nice, right?
Wouldn’t it be nice to allow this time to be free of worry too…because it is out of your control?
Can we let the lack of control be what calms us??
Because let’s be frank…regarding this pandemic, you know what to do and how to behave and now it’s really just kind of a waiting game.
And what’s wrong with a little waiting?? Waiting is the universe shining on you.
“Stop,” it says. “Take a break,” it says. And still, we complain in lines and queues, never getting that the break we have been asking for, sometimes begging for…well, it’s finally here!
Maybe everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be…maybe just maybe, this is…could it be…possibly, a gift…???
Now, you might be thinking, “Cheri, you’re crazy. This is not a gift. People are sick and dying and scared. This is not good.”
Rainy days aren’t all bad. If you think so, tell that to the trees.
We don’t know. We never did.
Remember, a year ago a or a month ago or a week ago when you were so stressed out and all you wanted was for it all to just pause or stop?
It has!! Here it is. It’s ALL on pause, (ok, maybe not cooking, laundry or work totally) but, you wanted it! It’s here! Breathe!
This is what you’ve wanted…this is what you’ve been asking for…maybe this is what you actually need…Right. Now…a time to take a breath…catch up…be with your family…learn something new…clean something out…
What do you have control over???
How can you harness this idea?
We can’t control most aspects of this pandemic. And maybe…that’s ok.
Maybe this is peace. Let GO. Exhale.
Let go the delusion that you ever had control and see what happens next…
Watch your dog delight in the lazy days and incessant meal scraps and extra walks. Don’t have a dog? Maybe it’s time to get one!
Watch the birds in your yard…or livestream the most amazing nature scenes in the world.
Do the thing that you’ve been saying you’d love to do…”if you just had the time…!?” Now you do!
So, love yourself a little more, pay attention to your space and make your home as joyful as you can while you’re stuck in it.
Stop resisting homeschooling and find some sanity with experts on how to navigate technology and parenting.
Seize control of what you do have control over…
Peace of mind.
I love how Pema Chödrön shows us how in this short video.
We need to send a signal to our brain that “all is well” in the moment we are in…why? Because this is the truth.
It is true. It is true regardless of the lousy news and scary whatever else that keeps telling our ego, our “roommate” in our heads, that we need to incessantly keep freaking out…
All is well.
I can show you how to get this message to your panic part of your brain and send it a big flashing sign:
A L L. I S. W E L L.
(even big kids!)
Also, in an effort to keep everyone safe and sound, my practice is moving to a HIPAA compliant platform so we can continue our sessions uninterrupted. If you’d like to make an appointment with me, please go here.
I am wishing that the peace, joy and healing light that already reside in you rises up to its fullest loving expression.
So much love and light to you and yours,
P.S. I am proud to partner with Elaine Taylor-Klaus & Diane Dempster from ImpactParents, who are hosting a free, 5-day online event that your family needs right now — called the Digital Sanity Summit: Navigating Technology & Parenting in the Modern World. Register for free to learn from 18+ internationally recognized experts on technology and parenting — in a unique and timely series of in-depth, online interviews. If you want to help your kids (and your whole family) manage modern life with technology — especially now, when technology is our lifeline to the outside world — I encourage you to register here for free. The pre-events start when the Exhibition Hall opens this weekend.