Happy New Year!
So…Now that the presents have been opened and the parties all cleaned up, what do you have left??? A brand, new shiny year, just waiting to be filled up with all of your amazing ideas coming to their fruition!
We talked about the New Year’s Resolutionist’s Mistake, so I know you didn’t try to miraculously change in ten different ways on January 1st, thereby inviting disappointment and feelings of failure. Good for you! So, where do you go from here? How do we make this New Year look better than all the rest?
Be Very Specific About What You Want
First, let’s get a clear picture of what you want. The first step in goal setting is really getting a handle on what it is, exactly, that you want. You’ll need to visualize it, very specifically. When you are thinking about driving that specific Mercedes around that you really, really want, do you picture yourself on a bus??? Stranded on the side of the road? No way! That’s why wherever you look you constantly see that make and model and even in the color you want. You’re brain is an expert at seeking out what you think about the most.
Why is that so? Your brain is wired that way as a survival mechanism. Think about our ancient ancestors, who were obsessed with finding food in the winter…they were thinking about boars, deer, anything to get nourishment. That’s all their brains could see, and it provided clarity, structure, and most importantly, abundant food in their lives.
It’s all up to you. It’s all in your thoughts…you have the control. You have 100% responsibility with your thoughts. You can think about whatever you want whenever you want.
When you go through this exercise, you may find that you’ve been thinking about what you don’t want, and that’s not helpful. I know it is often difficult to see what we dream about without seeing the obstacles that could arise or what has held us back in the past. New clients, when asked what they want, frequently begin with “Well, I know what I don’t want…” But in order to harness your brain’s amazing ability to move you toward your goals, you need a clear picture of what you affirmatively want, not the opposite.
I can tell you from experience that visualization works! A client recently told me that he has found the love of his life — and attributed this life-changing, awesome event to working on an exercise with me where we spelled out exactly what his perfect, life partner might do, say, look like, enjoy…everything! I’m just saying…you know my motto: What if it works???
Don’t Worry about the “Hows”
Next, don’t sweat the details. We really get bogged down with thinking about how something is going to happen, or more accurately, how something is NOT going to happen when we start thinking about what we want. This is truly a waste of time. In fact, you end up vividly visualizing exactly the opposite of what you want! When you notice yourself doing this, go ahead and make a car brake noise in your head-
Then, begin thinking about what you want.
“Hows” are useless. I mean, did you know how you would meet your spouse? How you would meet the hook up for your new job? How you make new friends in elementary school. How you would grow ears in the womb????
No. You just knew you wanted all of those things.
And we seem to only do this when we think about getting what we want. Are you bogged down with writing that report because you worried about how email works when you send it? Do you fret about dinner because you can’t imagine how the oven works?
No. You count on those things. You assume that they will work for you.
Your brain will too.
Just give it a chance.
Think about it. Visualize it. Talk about it. Surround yourself with it. Hang out with people who have it. Live as though you know you’ll get it.
Isn’t that how you got everything you already have???
So, tell me, what do you really, really want???
Please feel free to forward this blog along…Perhaps you know someone who needs some work on thinking about what they really, really want this year.
I have a video blog too! Check out my new “vlog” about the “when-then” at HYPERLINK “http://www.youtube.com/user/thestresstherapist” http://www.youtube.com/user/thestresstherapist.
If you need a hand with your new, healthy habits, hit me up anytime. Remember, I offer a FREE, face to face, 20-minute consultation.
Let it go, stay pumped, get it done, be you and go get it!
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Teaching you the habits you can’t wait to pick up!